My New Form of Birth Control

I think they should show this to all young people who are not being smart; it's enough for me!!


We are really aren't heartless parents. Emma had been carrying on forever and showed no signs of stopping. We've learned that instead of loosing your cool and getting mad, it helps if we laugh. Marcus had given her the wrong sippy cup. She threw a fit, a very large, loud fit. She soon learned that the cup made piggy noises if she sucked on it, so all was well again in Emma land.

Happy Birthday, Christian!!

On January 27th, 2005, Christian William was born at 10:37 AM in Alabama, weighing 4 lbs 1 1/2 oz. We were blessed enough to meet him one year later and have celebrated every other moment in his life with him. Today he turned four years old. He is growing up to be such a great little boy. He wants to be bigger than he is, and wants to do more than he can. He pushes both our limits and tries my patience daily. He is one of the greatest blessings in my life. He is my definition of faith. He brings such great joy into my life. I couldn't have asked for a better little man. Happy birthday my sweet, little boy.

We got him drums for his birthday. He absolutely loves them. I am going to invest in some earplugs.

He had a little birthday party today with some friends. They were all very cute.

The cupcakes were very green and messy. But the kids loved them.

Most of the party animals.

They celebrated his birthday at school yesterday. He was the special helper all day.

He made goody bags for his class and his party. He had fun putting them together.

Christian and Emma entertained themselves while I made the poster for his class and tied the goody bags closed.

It was a great day, but I am glad it's over. Time for little drummer boy to put his sticks away and go to bed.

Who Came Up with the Saying "Fork in the Road" Anyway?

It's 11:30 at night. Marcus is in Ohio. I have work to do...actual work with no motivation or desire to even open my folders and take out the papers. I have a birthday party to plan and get ready for. I have cards to make for a swap I signed up. (Way out of my league btw.) I have laundry and dishes and blah and blah and blah. I don't want to do any of them. I am sitting here blog hopping; reading all the cool tales and stories of people I know and even don't know. I'm at a fork in the road with my own blog. I'm not exactly sure which direction I want to take it in. Most of the blogs I read are about families and the activities and stories of the day and the cute things their kids said and did. I don't imagine anyway other than my mom enjoys reading about the cute and/or funny things my little ones did on any certain day. Other blogs I read are personal blogs just about them. I am not interesting or good enough with words to do this kind of writing.

So I am stuck. Do I do a family blog that talks about how Jessi sent and received over 12,000 text messages in LESS than a month. Or how Taylor is trying so hard to find herself but struggling to do so. Or how about Christian is going to turn four on Tuesday and how (not) excited I am to give him his present. Or how Emma is talking in sentences and growing up way too fast.

Do I do a personal blog that talks about how I feel when people say "Oh, so you are just a mom?". Or how I am struggling with the monotonous days I seem to be having lately. Or how I am trying to figure out which role I am to each person at that exact moment...wife, business partner, secretary, mom, friend, daughter, sister, boss, enforcer, church leader. Or how I am struggling with the decision to bring another baby into our family right now.


Which path do I chose? Or do I make my own path with a few detours that talk about children and family along with a few paths that discuss my favorite lip gloss and my husband's addiction to Facebook? I may or may not be posting much until I figure out what I want 9 Inch Cankles to be....besides not 9 inches anymore. :)


Did I mention that it is almost midnight and Christian is still awake? He knows when Marcus is gone and milks it for everything it's worth. Ever since Marcus' surgery, he comes into my room every night and sleeps in my bed. I honestly think he is dealing with some separation anxiety issues or something. Since I have payroll to calculate, checks to write, bills to pay, emails to respond to, laundry to fold, dishes to put away, a new Grey's episode to watch and an adorable little boy who won't stop asking "where's the water" (huh?!) that needs to be tucked in for the trillionth time tonight, I guess I better stop being irresponsible and get to work.

PSS: Wonder Woman

What super-power would you most like to have, and why?

I thought about this one long and hard. There are so many things that would be awesome to be able to do, but I could also think of a down side for everyone. It would be helpful to read people's thoughts, but horrible at the same time. It would be good to see into the future for some reasons and devastating for others.

My super power would be the power of ultimate patience. Patience with children, husband, parents, friends, stupid people, husband, dumb drivers, bigots, faith bashers, husband, annoying dogs, siblings, extended family, husband, in-laws, and...oh! did I mention husband?! :) Having patience with everyone and everything I came in contact with would be awesome! I am not a very patient person, and to me, patience is a super power. I was originally going to say patience and understanding, but I don't want ultimate understanding. I don't want to understand why you are a bigot; why you think you are better than someone else because of the color of your skin. I don't want to understand why you don't believe in God or praying or faith. I do believe and I don't need you to explain why you don't. I don't need to understand why you are so horrible to other people. Is it really that hard to just be nice? I don't want to understand why some people do certain things or think a certain way. I just want to be patient with them.

But I still want a cute little super hero costume..something that makes my butt look good would be nice!

Baby of Mine...

My friend Brynn did this post awhile ago and I wanted to do it too. But like a lot of things, I got too busy and forget. Then Heidi (who is a part of PSS) did it too and reminded me that I wanted to do it.

*Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't have much info on Christian's birth or what his birth mom went through. I am also not going to include the two miscarriages we have had. Yes, they were my babies too, but this is all about Emmers!!

Were you married when you found out you were pregnant? Yup we had been married for a little over three years.

What were your reactions when you found out you were pregnant? Totally surprised and shocked. We had been trying for over three years. Had one miscarriage, told we would never get pregnant and had brought Christian home only seven months earlier.

How old were you? 26

How did you find out you were pregnant? Took home test

Did you want to find out the sex? Of course. Everything had to be planned and organized for the arrival of our bundle of joy.

Due date? June 11

Did you deliver early or late? Late

Did you have morning sickness? I had all day every day sickness the whole time.

What did you crave? Raw potatoes and Lime Rickies

Did you get stretch marks? Not a single one!! HOORAY!!

What was your first child's sex? This is a trick question for us. The first biological child of ours was a girl.

How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? A whopping 70 pounds!! Most of it was water though...I didn't have knees or ankles by the time I delivered. I had two big tree trunks.

Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Haha..the whole pregnancy!! I had my appendix taken out at 11 weeks. I was hospitalized twice for dehydration. There was a possibility Emma would be born with Down Syndrome. We had to go the hospital twice for decreased movement of the the baby towards the end. I tested positive on the Strep test so I had to have antibiotics before, during and after delivery that burned my veins. Other than that, it was pretty uneventful. :)

Where did you give birth? Ogden Regional Hospital

How many hours were you in labor? About 12, maybe longer. I wasn't feeling good the whole night before but I didn't think much of it. We were suppose to go in on Sunday (Father's Day) and be induced. Emma was not okay with that and was born on Saturday.

Was it natural or c-section? Natural

Did you take anything to ease the pain? I wanted to go as long as I could without anything. When the nurse said it's now or it'll be a long time before you can get anything, I got drugged. It was awesome!!

How much did your child weigh? 8 lbs 2 oz. We were told she was going to be a small baby...whatever.

What did you name him/her? Emma Catherine

How old is your first born today? Almost 19 months

Is he/she named after anyone? Her middle name is from Marcus' side. Emma is the only name we could both agree on. I wanted Quinley and we would call her Quinn. Marcus thought Quinley sounded like a bodily function. Marcus wanted Clara and all I could picture was a cow named Clara Bell with a bell around her neck.

How long were you in the hospital after birth? Two days

Who was in the delivery room with you? Just Marcus, who was suppose to stay by my head. Yah, that didn't happen.

Are you ready for another? Yup. But the real question is: adopt or try to get pregnant again? Jessi and Taylor are way excited to bring another baby home. Christian keeps asking when is Emma going to turn brown. We have enough love in our hearts for lots more! (or just one...depending on who you ask.) :)

What Not to Wear...

I wore this outfit all day. Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like a circus trainer? Give me a top hat, a whip and an elephant and I'm ready!! I was out in public like this for pete's sake.

If I Have an Itch...

Marcus lets me scratch it. He is so tolerant of me and my high demands. I am a diva. I'll admit it. I'm not ashamed. I got an itch to get a table in my hallway upstairs because it looked really plain and boring. I spent numerous nights online looking for the perfect table; I knew it existed and I was determined to find it. I finally found one I liked on KSL.com so we went to look at it. It was in North Ogden and we were on our way up to Mantua, so it worked out well. We had all our kids plus an extra one so we were packed nice and tight. Not only did the lady have one table that was perfect, she had two tables that were perfect; one for the hall and one for the entryway. Then he tolerated me and went shopping to get stuff to put on them with me. He was so patient; I am not good at making commitments. I am really happy with the tables and now need to think of another project.







He also dealt with me here and here. (I was a major pain in the butt with our room. I hate being committed to something. I have a fear of commitment.)

Thankfully Marcus is very patient with me and spoils me rotten. When we went to Vegas he bought me a diamond bracelet just because I told him he couldn't. We stopped at a jewelry store and he told me to come look at some bracelets. I said they were pretty but I didn't need one. He told me to try it on, and I said, "No, you are not buying me a bracelet." He had the sales lady ring it right up. Maybe next time I will tell me he can't buy me a BMW. :)
He also let me do A LOT of shopping in Vegas. I had the best time. I need to go back NOW. I still have money left from my birthday trip, but spending it in Vegas was much more fun!!



How can you not love this guy?


He's the one in the hat...just in case you were confused!! :)

Menu Plan Monday

For what seems like ever, I have been drooling over all the participants over at Organized Junkie's site that plan their menus for a whole week. We try to do it, but it never seems to work. What sounds good when I am making the menu, sounds nasty the day we are going to make it. But I am finally going to attempt to stick with it and see if it cuts my grocery bill and makes life easier. Our nights are crazy with meetings, Young Womens, cheer...whatever else you throw in our direction. So this is what we have planned this week:

Monday: Salmon with Pistachio Dill Butter. This is one of the recipes they sampled at Sam's Club last summer. It is so yummy!!

Tuesday: Three cheese lasagna made in advanced. Tonight alone we have cheer, Young Womens, Elder's Quorom meeting and Activity Days. The recipe is my manicotti recipe, just made with lasagna noodles instead.

Wednesday: Home made Clam Chowder in bread bowels with home made Key Lime Pie. This will by my experiment night. I have never made the chowder or the pie before. Wish me luck!

Thursday: Chicken legs and twice-baked potatoes.

Friday: Chicken Wrap thing...I'm not sure of the name. It's chicken stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped with bacon. Can you feel your arteries clog as you read that?

Saturday: Marcus gets to figure it out. We will be doing basketball pictures all day and I'm not cooking.

Sunday: Haven't figured this one out yet. We don't get out of church until 4 now so it's harder to prepare a big meal. I'll probably just end up throwing something in the crock pot. That's always easy and usually yummy.

PSS: Cancer

Last week Lisa asked "If you had to make a choice between lowering your chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer by taking a pill for 5+ yrs, but dealing with some pretty brutal side effects (hot flashes, changes in libido, depression, possible increase of other cancers, etc) would you do it? "

This is a tough question and I honestly don't have an answer. It's one of those situations that you can think you have an answer to until you are in the actual situation and everything is different. Before I became a parent, I knew exactly how to be the "perfect" parent; I had answers to everything. Now that I am a parent, I suck and know nothing.

Luckily, cancer doesn't run in my family. (That we know of anyway. My dad was adopted and we know nothing about his birth family.) I would just make sure I knew all my facts and got many different opinions. I am such a hypochondriac; every bump is cancer and every rash is some skin eating disease.

Educate yourself. Pray. Hope for the best.

PSS: 2008

A couple of weeks ago, I asked: What is the one event that you will remember when you look back on the year 2008?

Looking back at last year, two things immediately popped into my head: My miracle baby turning 1 and Marcus donating his kidney.

I have never had the opportunity to plan a baby's first birthday. When we brought Christian home, he was thirteen months old, and I had to wait almost a full year to plan his birthday party. It was his first birthday party with us, but his second party. It was fun to plan Emma's party. It was a good day and Emma had a ball. I can't believe how fast time has gone. I still remember the night we found out we where preggers; it feels like yesterday.

Marcus is fully recovered from his surgery and life is back to normal..whatever that is. Juan is doing very well and able to do a lot of things he hasn't been able to do in a long time. There are still magazines doing articles on the story and just the other day Marcus got a card in the mail from someone telling him what an amazing thing it was that he did. I hope his story can do some good and people can look at organ donation a little differently.

Overall, 2008 was a good year. I look forward to 2009; the new challenges, adventures, obstacles, children, mistakes, successes and anything else that comes our way.

PSS: Presents...

A couple of weeks ago Amy asked: What was your best Christmas present? What was your worst? What did you always want but never get?

My husband spoils me rotten every year. I can not think of one bad present I have ever gotten from anyone. I also can't pick just one best present. Some that stick out are:

*When Marcus used to travel a lot for work, he made me a pillow case with his face on it. It was a bit creepy, but awesome any way.
*Diamond earrings
*When I was pregnant with Emma, I got one of those awesome body pillows that contour to your body. He became my best friend. His name was Franco...Marcus was replaced for a few months.
*A baby booty necklace charm with the birthstone of the baby we lost in 2005.

The one present I have always wanted is a new car. I don't necessary want the car, I just want the keys hanging on the tree and a HUGE bow on the car when I look out the window shrieking.

I just love getting presents. If there was a least a little thought behind it, I will like it and appreciate it.

Who is Watching You?

I went to a stake Young Women's meeting tonight where they talked about being an example and that people are always watching you, even when you don't know it. They had some really good talks that got me thinking. How often do I say or do things that I wouldn't do or say if I knew someone was watching? Have I impacted anybody's life? If I have, has it been for the good or bad? Will anyone ever look back on their lives and remember something I said or did and they will thank me for it? Will my children grow up and thank me for lessons I taught them or temember the times we played? Or will they just remember all the times I lost my temper or raised my voice? Will any of the Young Women be impacted by my lessons or the activities I'm involved in? Will any of my friends look back at our friendship someday and be grateful I was thier friend?
I want to leave a positive impression wherever I go. I want to be the change the world needs. Who is watching me? What are they seeing?

Make the Voices Stop!!!

So I am at a point in time where an important decision has to be made eventually. Not any time soon, but the fact that I know it's going to have to be made consumes my thoughts. I worry about everything...even those things outside of my control. Marcus and I have begun talking about adding to our family. We have even talked about it being this summer or fall. We are wanting to adopt again this time. We want to adopt another African American baby; I don't know if we want a boy or a girl. We were sure we wanted another girl, but now the thought of two little brown boys in bunk beds brings a smile to my face.
I forgot about a lot of the emotions involved in this process. I would love to have someone explain to me why African American babies are half the price of Caucasian babies. How can anyone put a price tag on a baby? Race, gender, background, special needs...a baby is a baby. It makes me so angry when I get the adoption packets in the mail and see that brown babies don't cost as much as any other race. Sure, it saves us money, but it makes me sick. I think it is wrong. I through those pamphlets away and don't give them a second glance. Before we brought Christian home, we attended some seminars from different agencies. There was one that made us feel like they were trying to sell babies. They even called us after the seminar and told us if we wanted a baby we should adopt soon because they were going to raise their prices. I'm sorry, but we aren't buying a new TV.
We also are not wanting to drain all our bank accounts like we did with Christian. We are looking into doing a private adoption, but that makes me worry too. There is no agency to help us along the way. We have direct contact with the birth mom from the beginning. I have seen too many Lifetime movies I guess. We are going to get an appointment with an adoption attorney and have them shed some light on this subject.
So if we are going to adopt again, and Marcus wants this to be our last child, do we do some more permanent type of birth control? I am not ready to make that kind of decision. I decided a long time ago that I have no control over how children are brought into my life. (Married and got two. Started adoption process and brought Christian home 11 days later. Got pregnant with Emma after three years of infertility...see what I mean about no control?) I don't know if I will ever get pregnant again, or if I even can get pregnant and carry to term again. With as sick as I was with Emma, I don't know if I can do that again with two little ones to take care of. Obviously I wouldn't have to get my appendix out again, but the vomiting and dehydration and worries of Down Syndrome that we had with Emma I don't know if I could do it again. There are so many babies out there that need a home all ready, I feel like wanting to get pregnant again makes me selfish. I want to experience it all again; feeling the baby grow inside of me, the first time the baby moves, giving birth, the bonding...all of that was amazing. But I did get to experience that once when I was told early on that I would never be able to get pregnant. Since that doctor visit, I have been pregnant three times. (Yes, only one baby, but that's not my point here. I proved that doctor wrong by getting pregnant.) I also don't know if I could handle the emotions of trying to get pregnant again if we went that route. I can't go through the fertility tests again. The HSG test I had done was worse than child birth. I would never do that again. The money, the pain, the emotional pain...I don't know if we could go through that again.
So obviously this is just my way of trying to sort out my feelings and come up with something that makes sense. I tend to ramble....but this is what the voices in my head are saying and going over all the time!! Make the voices stop!!
But more importantly then how we are going to bring a baby home: can I handle another little one? These two that are running around behind me screaming keep me very busy. Yesterday I took them to church by myself because Marcus was out of town. They were so out of control during Sacrament that after I get Christian settled in his new class and dropped Emma off at nursery, I went out to my car and drowned my sorrows in goldfish crackers during Sunday School. I got my wits about me before Young Women's started and everything was well in the world again. Goldfish crackers really do make all the hurt go away.
So anyway, enough rambling on my part. We'll keep ya updated on the whole baby thing. Maybe I'll just get a new puppy...cuz I need another one of those either!!!

Will the Real Monica Please Stand Up?!

We had an awesome New Year's Eve party at our house. Marcus, being the funny guy he thinks he is, thought it would be funny to tell one of the couples that it was a costume party. No one else dressed up except for Jeff and Angel and they ended up looking awesome. They came dressed up as Marcus and me. It was hilarious!!

I do have to admit, Jeff has more going on up top then I do and probably a smaller rear too! He kept going around all night cleaning things and straightening up. I thought it was very funny. Angel wore a suit and a name badge that said Elder's Quorum President. They were great sports about it. Thanks guys!

We had a lot of fun bringing in the New Year with our friends. I have great expectations for the new year and a lot that I want to accomplish. 2008 was great, and I think 2009 will even be better...unless you ask Emma. Her first morning of 2009 consisted of the absolute worst temper tantrum in the history of temper tantrums. It was awesome! Have a happy New Year!