Wednesday, April 30, 2008

PSS...Worst Mom Ever...

I asked everyone this week: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?

After the day I had today, my answer would be patience and understanding. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "Dude, she is so cheating...that is two qualities." But in my defense, I don't think you can have one without the other; patience and understanding go hand in hand. I used to have a lot of patience and understanding, and then I had children and that all went out the window. I want to be the kind of mom that always deals with her children like we all do in public. (At least, I think we all do.) We know others are listening and watching so we are extra nice to our family. No? I am the only one? Great...add that to my list of things to fix...

Christian would love for me to have this quality too I am sure. That little boy gets yelled at more than a three year old should. Today we had to run to Target to get milk and baby wipes for Emma. After a particular bad experience in the store, we get in the car and Christian keeps saying, "Mommy?" "Mommy?" over and over again. I am ignoring him because I am so annoyed and frustrated over our quick run into Target. I finally say, "What, Christian? What do you want?" And the poor little boy looks at me and says, "I love you, sweetheart!" I deserve the Mom of the Year Award.

Emma deserves me to be more patient getting her dressed and lately feeding her. She hates to get dressed and undressed and it is seriously a three person job. Lately, she spits everything out of her mouth when I am feeding her and then pushes it back in with her hand. It's nasty and gross. I lose my patience too quickly with her doing that.

Jessi and Taylor also deserve more patience. Jessi doesn't deal well at all when things don't go her way. I have had it up to my eyeballs with the excuse of "She's a's her hormones." SHE'S ELEVEN!! She isn't a teenager and I don't care if it's because of her hormones. I compare it to Christian: we have to teach them the same things, just on different levels. Jessi needs to learn that she doesn't always get her way or what she wants. I am working on that with Christian at the moment too. When Jessi starts to whine or cry about not getting what she wants, 9 times out of 10, I lose it. I either am too short with her or I have to leave the room because it drives me so crazy. I need to understand that as one of many parental figures in her life, it's up to me to help teach her how to handle her emotions instead of the meltdowns and tears.
Taylor likes to think she is Christian's mom. It seems like she waits for him to do something wrong or get into something, and then she is immediately available to holler at him or tell on him. She has to be reminded constantly that she is not the mom. She does this with Jessi too, but Taylor and Christian struggle a bit more than any of the other siblings. I just want to rip my hair out when Taylor starts in on Christian. I need to be more patient with her when it comes to Christian. She is doing a lot better trying to get along with him and share. I have to give her credit for that. I need to understand that maybe she is worried about Christian hurting himself or getting into things he shouldn't and that is why she is getting after him. I know they love each other, and Christian misses her when she isn't here. They can be best friends or worst enemies.

I need to be more patient with my parents. I need to be more patient with people I work with in my church callings. I need to be more patient with people who have different views and opinions than I do. I need to be more patient with my stupid, err..I mean not so smart dogs. I need to be more patient with stupid people..I do mean stupid with that one.

Patience and understanding do go hand in hand...and I need a couple more hands.

1 comment:

Brynn said...

I'm sure you are being too hard on yourself! With all those kids at different ages I think you are doing an incredible job! I am always worried about what kind of mom I'll be and am always hoping/praying that I can be patient and understanding. In my crazy ER job, I tend to lose my patience incredibly fast and it's a struggle daily to try and do better. Your kids are adorable and I'm sure they know they are lucky to have you!