I Could Nibble On Her All Day...

Can you stand the cuteness?! I mean seriously!?! This little girl brings more joy and smiles to my life day after day. We took her 6 month/Christmas photos tonight. Yah, I know we are a little late..at least it was in December...that's not the point. Anyway, I could nibble on her all day and into the night. She is such a blessing and I am so lucky to be her mommy. I was told I would never have children of my own; that bit of news tore a hole in my gut. After Christian came into our family, I was good. Christian was my little boy and it didn't matter that I didn't give birth to him. I have to admit, there was a small part of me that was still numb because I would never get to experience the joys of pregnancy. (I use the term "joy" loosely now that I have experienced it all.) We soon learned that Christian had to be in our family before this beautiful little girl was to join us. I know I complain about the sleepless nights, the constant crying and now the horrible biting, but just look at that face...can life get any better?

The Not So Extreme Makeover: Our Edition Part 2

So with our little "makeover" in the house with all the kids' rooms, I was feeling left out. We decided to get new furniture for the living room and I can't believe the difference it made in the room. We also got a new dining room table awhile ago. The one we previously had was one Marcus had before we got married and it didn't match the kitchen and I always hated it. I don't have any before pictures of the kitchen, just after the new table. This is our "new" kitchen and family room.

Kitchen after we got the new table: (and I cleaned it really good. I redid the cabinets and cupboards, but I will spare you the pictures of that.)



Family room before the new couches and tables:



Family room after new couches and getting rid of other furniture and adding other fun stuff:





Jessi's new room is also done. I just need to find her after pictures. We have pictures on every computer and memory card in the house. How in the world do you organize digital pictures? It is kicking my butt. Emma's room is almost done and I will post pictures of that. Her room is the one I am most excited about. It is very girly and very cute. This whole project has been really fun, but I am sure Marcus is ready for it to be done. He has done 99.9% of the work and has done a great job. He deserves a treat.

Serial Killers, Kidnappers and Tamales...

With the Christmas shopping and having loads of birthday cash, I have been doing my fair share of shopping. I always have Emma and/or Christian with me. Most of those trips are cut WAY short by one or two small children having a melt down, needing to be fed, grabbing underwear and putting them on his head, or a diaper explosion. On the rare occasion that I get any shopping done, I usually only have Emma and I am carrying her while pushing her stroller with her car seat in it. Doing it this way is a struggle, and I need three extra arms, but it works. Every once in awhile Emma thinks she needs to be fed or have her diaper changed. (I know, selfish.) We find the nearest bathroom so I can do the above tasks quickly and be on our way again. Twice in the past week I have had two different women ask me if they wanted me to have them hold Emma while I went to the bathroom. Maybe to some this isn't a big deal; the ladies seem nice enough. But each time I have said, "No thanks. I am actually going to be feeding her" when in reality, I did have to use the restroom. Anyway, I don't know if I am making a big deal out of nothing, or if having a stranger ask to hold your baby while you aren't right there to supervise is out of the ordinary. I personally think @#$% no. You aren't even going to touch my baby, let alone hold her while I am behind a closed door. The two women who asked were older woman, so in their mind, I am sure they didn't see any harm. Am I being overly protective? Am I assuming bad things will happen when I have no reason to?

Another example of me being a paranoid freak was when Marcus decided to buy tamales from a man in a store parking lot. Home made tamales are amazing; we get them from our next door neighbor once in awhile and our employees make them sometimes too. Marcus loves them. He had no hesitation buying them from the dude selling them. I questioned the whole thing and told Marcus they were probably poisonous and we were going to die. He assured me they were fine; it's just some guy trying to make some extra money around the holidays. I am turning into my sister and I don't trust anyone. I watch too many shows about crime and murder and all the horrible awful things that can happen to innocent people that buy tamales from strangers in a parking lot. I told Marcus: "I am not being pessimist, I am being a realist."
"You are being a real ass" was Marcus' reply. Funny. He is a funny man. The tamales ended up being really good and so far we are both alive. (maybe it's a slow poison that takes awhile to show up...hey, you don't know.)

When I was pregnant, I was scared to even take the garbage out by myself because you hear of horrible things happening to pregnant women. I don't consider myself someone who lives in constant fear, but maybe I am also not as trusting as much as I should be. People are crazy. Watch the news...you will see what I mean. What happened to life being all rainbows and daisies? Now life is all about locked doors and trying to figure out how pee and do up your pants one handed because you didn't want a nice grandma holding your baby.

Pessimist. Realist. Real Ass. Call it what you want; at least I won't end up having to put the lotion on my skin lest I get the hose again.

November...Cliff's Notes Version

So I suck. The month of November has come and gone and I did one post. I figure since I don't talk to anyone anymore, (somehow Emma always knows when I get on the phone) I need to share the highlights of the month...quickly because I am exhausted.

Christian no longer has his "bup". It's all gone. We were going to do this big, extravagant going away party for it, but I ruined that. I was sitting on the couch one day and he came over next to me with his bup in his mouth and his slobber all over his shirt and down his chin. Some of the slobber dripped on my leg. I had it. I took his bup and chucked it across the room. Yes, I had a temper tantrum. I decided right then and there that we were done with the bups. The whole thing was much easier then we could have ever imagined. He went to bed without a fight and things were good. Then he decided to have a seizure the next morning. But he didn't ask for one. I think he finally realized that they were gone for good.

Emma is eating baby food and loving every minute of it. The only thing I have found that she doesn't like is peaches. We also found out that she is allergic to not only peanuts, but to formula as well. There are also certain diapers she can't wear and detergents and certain fabrics make her break out in a nasty rash. I really hope all these allergies and things are something she will grow out of. The day I stop breastfeeding, I am pigging out on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Reese's peanut butter cups. She still is not sleeping through the night. I'm a horrible mother, I know. She fell off the couch....yah, horrible mother, I know. She is very active and doesn't ever hold still, even when she is sleeping. She is rolling everywhere and scoots to get where she wants to go. The day she starts to crawl, I will cry.

I celebrated my birthday this month. It seems like I get a birthday weekend or sometimes even week the way the schedules go the girls and my family. This year, Marcus sent me out a few days before my birthday with a friend to get a pedicure and then we went to lunch. It was SO nice to be out of the house with no kids and have adult conversation. (Talking with Marcus doesn't count....I said adult.) :) Then after that when I came home, he had 100 balloons in the sitting room that I had to pop. Some of the balloons had money, others had little notes from Marcus and the kids. I hate the sound of popping balloons....HATE IT. 100 balloons later, still hate it. I got lots of cute notes and lots of money to go shopping with. Then on my actual birthday, my parents came to town and we got a sitter for the two little ones (the girls were with their mom) and we went to dinner. I also got my Grey's season 3 dvds. (worse season ever, but have to add them to the collection.)

For Thanksgiving we went to Marcus' Aunt's house. It was good. We didn't have to worry about decorations or cleanup or any of the stress that comes with hosting Thanksgiving. It was nice.

Got all the Christmas decorations up and ready to start shopping for Christmas...tis the season to be jolly...or something.

I Should Be Sleeping...

Instead, I am reading blogs and wanting to do all sorts of cool things with mine. I have all these ideas for posts and lots of pictures and I am too exhausted for any of them to make sense. Maybe when my children are all grown and have moved away I might be able to post what I want until then, know that I WANT to post. Does that make it okay that I haven't written anything in almost a month? If I get more then four hours of sleep tonight, we may produce something tomorrow...maybe.

Aren't We Just Festive?

Instead of my boring summaries of the activities we have done over the past few weeks, I just posted pictures. I am lazy and the pictures are cute. We did a corn maze, a pumpkin patch, played in the leaves, and went trick or treating. Hope you had a good Halloween!!

The Truth Always Comes Out...

For the last six years I have been in a relationship with one of the most wonderful and talented people I have ever known. Recently I had what I can only call a moment of weakness. I didn't want to. I always swore I was not capable of such a thing, and it is painful to admit, but I was unfaithful. Not just unfaithful, but unfaithful with a person who has been a close friend of my husband for years and is also our business accountant. I guess I need to just come right out and face the truth; I had my hair done by someone other than Andrea. She has been there for the long, the short, the brown, the blond, the red, all the stages of Monica and I betrayed her. I sought comfort in the welcoming arms of Stacy. (Yes, she really is our accountant and happens to be a very gentle and loving cosmetologist.) I feel like such a hair whore.

I Suck at Murder Mysteries.....

Marcus and I went to a Murder Mystery Party on Saturday that was put on by some of our friends. They did one last year too, but I was so sick from the pregnancy that I didn't have a very good time. We decided to give it another try. I do have to say that this year was much better. The whole thing was still a little corny and had to leave Emma with a babysitter for the first time. (yah, I was a nervous wreck) Emma did fine with the babysitter and I only called once. We divided up the kids; Jessi, Taylor and Christian were at the house with a babysitter, and we took Emma to a different sitter. I will totally admit I am an overly paranoid mom whose kids are going to grow up and be so sheltered and need lots of therapy and all there problems are going to come back on me...anyway, I digress. I have a hard time at these kind of parties; they make me come out of my comfort zone. I have to make an idiot out of myself...it's okay to do that around people I know, but a few of the couples there we didn't know. It was still fun, but next year I refuse to spend as much money as we did on the party this year. I have never been a real big fan of Halloween. Every year growing up I was always just a Punk Rocker. With these two parties, I have had to come up with costumes and makeup and such. It's not really something I am good at or enjoy. I don't like to be scared and all the candy goes right into my mouth and directly to my butt and thighs. I normally like to decorate but most of the Halloween decorations are animated and little kid looking. I don't like those kind of decorations. This year I didn't do much as far as decorating goes; Christian gets into everything and would break what ever he could reach. Going to the party kinda put the me in the Halloween mood and I am excited to put Christian and Emma into their costumes for our ward party. I will defiantly put pictures of them up...they are much cuter then we were!!

Freaking A!! Why didn't anyone mention how fat this costume made me look?! Oh Wait!! I had to have been wearing a fat suit as part of the costume...yah, that's it.

I'd Like To...

I'd like to believe that it doesn't count if I eat six mini donuts in less then five minutes if nobody sees me.

I'd like to believe that my house can clean it's self.

I'd like to believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'd like to believe I have never disappointed anyone.

I'd like to believe I have been a positive influence in someone's life.

I'd like to believe my babies will grow up with fond memories of their childhood.

I'd like to believe everything happens for a reason.

I'd like to believe I will get a full night's sleep again...someday.

I'd like to believe someone out there misses me.

I'd like to believe I'm a decent person.

I'd like to believe I am being thought of right now.

I'd like to believe that believing is enough.

Blah, Blah and More Blah...

I have all these great ideas for posts that I want to do. But do I do them? No. Why? Who knows. Too busy? Too lazy? Too tired? It's probably a combo of all three. I also realized that I don't want to be one of those people who post about all the "cool things" they do that no one really cares about. I don't want to post to make people think I am cool. I'm not, I all ready know that. The days seem to go by too quickly. I found myself bawling as I was going through Emma's clothes, having to put the ones that were too small away. Where did the last four months go? I feel like I missed so much. When does life get normal again? I can't say back to normal because things have changed and that normal is no longer normal. I keep thinking, "After this thing happens, life will get normal." or "After this event, life will slow down." I find I am wrong every time. I'm sure if I was more organized and on top of things, life would go smoother and everyone would be happy. I thrive off routine. I miss routine. Just when I think Christian is back on a routine, he won't go to sleep until midnight. (Yeah, we are going on about a week of this.) Just when I think Emma is on a routine, wait..Emma. Routine. That's a funny thought.
I decided awhile ago that I wanted to run a marathon next year, so that means I should start training now. Have I started yet? Of course not. I keep thinking, "Yeah, tomorrow I'll go run a mile." Tomorrow has come and gone a lot. I haven't ran at all. I am determined to do it though. I will tomorrow for sure. I'm also giving up Dr Pepper...tomorrow. I will also do all the laundry, clean the whole house, pay all the bills and be happy...tomorrow....all tomorrow.

One Of Those?!

Christian, Emma and I went to a local craft store yesterday to start shopping for the two swaps that I am doing this month. I am used to getting comments on how cute and adorable Christian is. I smile and say thank you and move on. No big deal. Every once in awhile, I come across a complete idiot. Yesterday that idiot was at the craft store. There were two elderly ladies there shopping and one commented on how cute he is and then the other one said....(brace yourself)..."My daughter has one of those."

ONE OF THOSE???? Excuse me?!?! One of those? I didn't know what to say. I just kept on walking. I am still learning when it comes to stupid people and Christian when to say something and when to just walk away. My child is not "one of those". He is the best little boy in the world and one of my greatest blessings.

Other stupid comments made over the past year:

"How much did he cost?"
"He must look like his dad."
And my all time favorite that was said to us more then once while I was pregnant with Emma- "Now you will have a child of your own".

I know not everyone means to be stupid when they make certain comments. As Christian gets older and can understand what some of this things mean and how some people are stupid, I need to be able to deal with the situation. I can't fix the world's stupidity or shield Christian from it, but I can teach him that he is an amazing person that makes me want to be a better person. I am the luckiest woman in the world to have that special little boy call me mommy.

The Not So Extreme Makeover: Our Edition

We are currently undergoing some minor "remodeling". Emma has no room. She sleeps in a bassinet in my room and shares Christian's closet with him. When we found out we were pregnant, we were going to move Jessi downstairs, move Taylor to Jessi's old room and give Emma Taylor's old room. Then Jessi was convinced by someone to not move downstairs because she would be too far away from her dad. That threw a huge wedge in our plans. After much thought and reconsidering from Jessi, (and Taylor and Christian always barging in uninvited) she decided moving downstairs wouldn't be so bad after all. So we began working on her room. Taylor debated whether or not to move downstairs, but then it was decided she would stay upstairs. Marcus repainted her room and made it all pink cute. It turned out pink cute and Taylor is pink pleased with it. Christian's room also got a slight face lift; his big boy bed. He loves it...well playing in it anyway. Staying in bed at night is a whole other story. Jessi's new room is now waiting for the carpet and wallpaper to come in. She is very excited to move down there and have a place she can call her own. We did have to take the door off the basement, but it'll look nice when it's all done.

This it Taylor's room before it was pink redone.

This was Christian's baby room.

This is Taylor's pink new room.

This is Christian's new big boy room.

He LOVES his new bed.

I will post pictures of Jessi's and Emma's room as they get finished. It's a fun project, but pretty exhausting. I am determined to get something done to my room...even just a new bed set since Christian got red fingernail polish all over my current comforter. Every room in the house has been done to some point since we built but my bedroom. It has always been just a whole bunch of hodge podge items. My bedroom better be next!!

Happy Thursday!

Today was my "Happy Thursday". (See here for an explanation of Happy Thursday.) Yet again, Marcus went above and beyond anything I could have imagined. He spoils me rotten and I love it! This year, I got my CHI flat iron. I have been wanting one of these for a long time, but could never justify spending the money on one. He also got me a book Emma's pediatrician recommended to get her on a schedule, some chocolates and cookies. (Yes, everything edible is gone. It was soooo good.) I really look forward to my Happy Thursdays each year. My husband is the greatest and I appreciate everything he does for me and our family.

On another note, Christian starts school tomorrow. I signed him up at his day care for a toddler class where I thought they just learned songs and actions and things. I was wrong. It's like pre-preschool. He is going to learn things. I am having serious issues with him doing this. What happened to the little boy we brought home who couldn't talk or walk yet? Now he doesn't stop talking and he is always on the move. I know he will have fun at "Tangling With Toddlers", (that's what they call the program) but it's just another sign that he is growing up. They have a show and tell bag, a treat bag and even field trips! It'll be great! I just hope he behaves...he can be a bit naughty at times. But he's so cute he gets away with it.

Heber Valley Railroad and Softcore Porn

Last December we took the kids to Heber City to ride the Heber Valley Railroad. On the way there we realized that we forgotten to bring our camera, so we stopped and purchased a cheap disposable camera. We drank hot chocolate, saw Santa and took a bunch of pictures. A good time was had by all.

Fast forward to two days ago.

We are in the middle of a small remodel/reorganizing project at our home (more about that in a future post). I decided to clean out some of the cluttered cupboards and closets in the house. While tackling a particularly messy cupboard in the kitchen, I discovered the disposable camera from our train ride last December. I had forgotten about the camera and the pictures it contains. I set it on the counter and decided that tomorrow I would take the last few pictures and then take it in to get developed.

Fast forward to yesterday.

I am in the bathroom just getting out of the shower and getting ready to start my day when I hear Christian walk into the room.

"Mommy, picture" he says.

This doesn't phase me because Christian is always picking up remote controls, memory card readers or cell phones and pretending they are a camera. He asks you to smile and makes a little clicking noise. It is very cute.

This time however it was not so cute.

After he says "Mommy, picture" I see a flash and hear the sound of a camera click. Not the cute little click noise Christian makes when he is pretending to take a picture but a very real camera click. Upon turning around I discover, to my horror, that Christian has found the disposable camera from our train trip and has just taken a picture of me topless. Completely topless. No shirt, no bra. Nothing.

What do I do now?!?! The pictures from the train ride were, I hope, all very cute. I can't just throw the camera away. I do not however wish to be the one who gives the 17 year old kid at the photo lab a thrill by letting him develop my nudie pictures.

Any advice?

But You Are Wearing Sweatpants

"Are you changing so we can go to the mall?"

"No, I am going through my clothes and getting rid of the ones I don't want anymore."

"But aren't we going to the mall?"

"Yah, in a little bit."

"But you are wearing sweatpants!"

"So?"

"You are going to wear them to the mall?!"

You would have thought going to the mall in sweatpants was the worst thing I could possibly do. There was a time in my life where I wouldn't be caught dead outside of the house in sweatpants, with my hair not done or my makeup not done. The summer before I went into seventh grade, I went to the ball park with my friend to watch her brother play baseball. I was wearing gray sweatpants and didn't look too cute. Who did we see that day? The boy I was madly in love with, of course!! I vowed from that day on that I would never leave the house unless I was completely done up. I did that for a very long time. Then I had a baby and said, "Screw it!". It's okay to wear comfortable clothes and throw your hair in a pony. So I guess I have grown up a little bit. However, I still to this day will not leave the house without mascara and lip gloss on.

Even after Jessi gave me grief over what I was wearing, she still went through the clothes I was getting rid of and took some for herself.

Anyone??

Anyone know where I can get velcro sheets and toddler pajamas?!?!

So Supposedly...

Today was suppose to be the "first day of the rest of my life". I woke up, showered and got dressed and decided that I wasn't happy with who was looking back at me in the mirror. I was viewing today as my New Year's Day. I was going to start eating better and exercising to lose the rest of my baby weight, have more patience, be a better mom, wife and person in general. Today was going to be a good day. I had a positive outlook and things were going well...for like five minutes. All sorts of things happened at the restaurant; broken equipment, lack of inventory, sitting in the back of the store with no air conditioner with two crying babies, etc. All the issues at Charley's and all the events of the past week put me over the edge. I had a small emotional breakdown and felt a little better when I was done. This past week has been insane. There has been something going on every day this past week. It also seemed that every day there were fifty billion people at my house. There was usually just the normal amount of kids and friends but for some reason, it just seemed so much more. We had Emma's blessing on Sunday and I had to clean the house for the brunch we had following the blessing. Then after everyone left the brunch, I had to clean again. Since then, I have just been going and going. All I want to do is go to sleep and not wake up for 48 hours.
So after we dealt with the issues at the store, we went to Ikea and bought Christian a bed. (Just a minute while I bawl my eyes out please.) No more crib for my little boy. Marcus will put it together tomorrow and move the crib out of Christian's room. My baby boy is no longer a baby. No more easy nap times or bedtimes. No more just putting him in his bed and being able to leave the room and not have to worry about him staying in bed. No more letting him play in his bed at 7 am when I don't want to get up with him yet. Then as we were leaving Ikea, I had to take the head support thinger out of Emma's car seat; she no longer needs it. She is getting big which really sucks.
We are redoing Jessi and Taylor's bedrooms and getting Emma a room. I thought this would be fun, but it is so not. Trying to let decorate it the way they want and us not hating it is difficult. Also, I have decided I am not normal. I have no idea what I want to do with Emma's nursery. Most moms would have had the nursery planned from the minute they found out they were pregnant. I knew Emma would not have a room at first, so I gave it no thought. Her getting a room is happening much quicker then I had anticipated and I have no ideas for it.
We also are dealing with people being idiots and not getting back with us after a month or so of us waiting. I am learning that when it comes to running your own business, some people stop at nothing to get ahead. Why can't we all just get along?!
So on our way from Ikea I thought, "the first day of the rest of the my life SUCKS!" I had a Chili Cheese Dog and Dr Pepper for dinner since today was obviously not the day to start "Operation: New Monica." Maybe tomorrow can be the first day....

But here are cute pictures of Emma on her Blessing Day. (I figured I needed something good in this post.)

Annual Picnic in the Park

Every year our adoption agency does a Picnic in the Park for all the families who have adopted through them. This year it was held in Kaysville at a really fun park. We all went and had a lot of fun.

Christian had his first pony ride. At first, he would only look and want to go near the horse. Then he would go a little closer..but not too close. Then when I tried to put him on the pony, he freaked. When Marcus tried, Christian at least got on the pony for a minute.



He also got his first bee sting. We think it was actually a hornet or a wasp because the little bugger got him twice.



The three kids got their face/arms painted. I didn't think Christian would sit still long enough to get painted, but I think he was still recovering from the sting. Christian got a snake, Taylor got flowers and Jessi got a skull. (of course)





Marcus took most of the pictures (My little photographer) but when he wasn't behind the camera, he was making Emma talk or chasing Christian.






Emma slept most of the time. I'm sure she had a good time when she was awake though.



I ate..of course. It's one of my many talents.



Jessi sat around and complained about all the "little kids". She likes to pretend she is all grown up, but when it comes down to it, she likes to play and have fun like "little kids".



Taylor threw a water balloon at Christian. Christian wasn't upset when he got all wet. He just looked down and said,"I need a paper towel." Taylor played with Christian during the games and relay races. They both had a lot of fun.



Christian can never pass up a chance to play dress up. He didn't care about the game, he just wanted the cool threads!



Christian also made a new friend. Her name is Zia. Isn't she adorable?!



I really enjoy going to the picnics. It is one of the few places I can go and completely let my guard down of people staring or making comments about our mixed family. The little kids are so stinking adorable...it makes me want twelve more!!!