Sunday, December 09, 2007

Serial Killers, Kidnappers and Tamales...

With the Christmas shopping and having loads of birthday cash, I have been doing my fair share of shopping. I always have Emma and/or Christian with me. Most of those trips are cut WAY short by one or two small children having a melt down, needing to be fed, grabbing underwear and putting them on his head, or a diaper explosion. On the rare occasion that I get any shopping done, I usually only have Emma and I am carrying her while pushing her stroller with her car seat in it. Doing it this way is a struggle, and I need three extra arms, but it works. Every once in awhile Emma thinks she needs to be fed or have her diaper changed. (I know, selfish.) We find the nearest bathroom so I can do the above tasks quickly and be on our way again. Twice in the past week I have had two different women ask me if they wanted me to have them hold Emma while I went to the bathroom. Maybe to some this isn't a big deal; the ladies seem nice enough. But each time I have said, "No thanks. I am actually going to be feeding her" when in reality, I did have to use the restroom. Anyway, I don't know if I am making a big deal out of nothing, or if having a stranger ask to hold your baby while you aren't right there to supervise is out of the ordinary. I personally think @#$% no. You aren't even going to touch my baby, let alone hold her while I am behind a closed door. The two women who asked were older woman, so in their mind, I am sure they didn't see any harm. Am I being overly protective? Am I assuming bad things will happen when I have no reason to?

Another example of me being a paranoid freak was when Marcus decided to buy tamales from a man in a store parking lot. Home made tamales are amazing; we get them from our next door neighbor once in awhile and our employees make them sometimes too. Marcus loves them. He had no hesitation buying them from the dude selling them. I questioned the whole thing and told Marcus they were probably poisonous and we were going to die. He assured me they were fine; it's just some guy trying to make some extra money around the holidays. I am turning into my sister and I don't trust anyone. I watch too many shows about crime and murder and all the horrible awful things that can happen to innocent people that buy tamales from strangers in a parking lot. I told Marcus: "I am not being pessimist, I am being a realist."
"You are being a real ass" was Marcus' reply. Funny. He is a funny man. The tamales ended up being really good and so far we are both alive. (maybe it's a slow poison that takes awhile to show up...hey, you don't know.)

When I was pregnant, I was scared to even take the garbage out by myself because you hear of horrible things happening to pregnant women. I don't consider myself someone who lives in constant fear, but maybe I am also not as trusting as much as I should be. People are crazy. Watch the will see what I mean. What happened to life being all rainbows and daisies? Now life is all about locked doors and trying to figure out how pee and do up your pants one handed because you didn't want a nice grandma holding your baby.

Pessimist. Realist. Real Ass. Call it what you want; at least I won't end up having to put the lotion on my skin lest I get the hose again.

1 comment:

Kim said...

When you are on your game, as you very much were in this post, I REALLY need to not be eating when I read your posts. I about choked on my freaking tater tots. Multiple times. No way would I have eaten the tamales, I'm freaking out over the store-bought chocolate bar someone left on my desk for me. See. You're not quite there yet. Old grandma or no, no way are you being paranoid in not letting some stranger hold your kid out of your sight while you're indisposed. Dude, YOU'RE the one who watches all those Lifetime movies. You should know that! :P