PSS...Worst Mom Ever...

I asked everyone this week: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?

After the day I had today, my answer would be patience and understanding. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "Dude, she is so cheating...that is two qualities." But in my defense, I don't think you can have one without the other; patience and understanding go hand in hand. I used to have a lot of patience and understanding, and then I had children and that all went out the window. I want to be the kind of mom that always deals with her children like we all do in public. (At least, I think we all do.) We know others are listening and watching so we are extra nice to our family. No? I am the only one? Great...add that to my list of things to fix...

Christian would love for me to have this quality too I am sure. That little boy gets yelled at more than a three year old should. Today we had to run to Target to get milk and baby wipes for Emma. After a particular bad experience in the store, we get in the car and Christian keeps saying, "Mommy?" "Mommy?" over and over again. I am ignoring him because I am so annoyed and frustrated over our quick run into Target. I finally say, "What, Christian? What do you want?" And the poor little boy looks at me and says, "I love you, sweetheart!" I deserve the Mom of the Year Award.

Emma deserves me to be more patient getting her dressed and lately feeding her. She hates to get dressed and undressed and it is seriously a three person job. Lately, she spits everything out of her mouth when I am feeding her and then pushes it back in with her hand. It's nasty and gross. I lose my patience too quickly with her doing that.

Jessi and Taylor also deserve more patience. Jessi doesn't deal well at all when things don't go her way. I have had it up to my eyeballs with the excuse of "She's a teenager...it's her hormones." SHE'S ELEVEN!! She isn't a teenager and I don't care if it's because of her hormones. I compare it to Christian: we have to teach them the same things, just on different levels. Jessi needs to learn that she doesn't always get her way or what she wants. I am working on that with Christian at the moment too. When Jessi starts to whine or cry about not getting what she wants, 9 times out of 10, I lose it. I either am too short with her or I have to leave the room because it drives me so crazy. I need to understand that as one of many parental figures in her life, it's up to me to help teach her how to handle her emotions instead of the meltdowns and tears.
Taylor likes to think she is Christian's mom. It seems like she waits for him to do something wrong or get into something, and then she is immediately available to holler at him or tell on him. She has to be reminded constantly that she is not the mom. She does this with Jessi too, but Taylor and Christian struggle a bit more than any of the other siblings. I just want to rip my hair out when Taylor starts in on Christian. I need to be more patient with her when it comes to Christian. She is doing a lot better trying to get along with him and share. I have to give her credit for that. I need to understand that maybe she is worried about Christian hurting himself or getting into things he shouldn't and that is why she is getting after him. I know they love each other, and Christian misses her when she isn't here. They can be best friends or worst enemies.

I need to be more patient with my parents. I need to be more patient with people I work with in my church callings. I need to be more patient with people who have different views and opinions than I do. I need to be more patient with my stupid, err..I mean not so smart dogs. I need to be more patient with stupid people..I do mean stupid with that one.

Patience and understanding do go hand in hand...and I need a couple more hands.

Odds and Ends...

Since my MIA post I have only been able to mark two of the nine ideas for a blog off my list. I am currently up to date on PSS questions,(other than answering my own question this week, but I still have time)and I did my five year anniversary post bragging about how great my husband is. Disneyland pictures are gonna have to wait; I am too lazy to put them all together tonight. Let's see if I can whip out the rest though.

For FHE a few weeks ago we went swimming in Bountiful. Emma had only been in the pool once before when she was like a couple months old. Christian is kind of a chicken and was hesitant to try much of anything. Everyone still had fun. Then we had Charley's on the way home.



Hello cleavage!!!
More cleavage...see, I warned you!!


The day after my anniversary, I loaded up Emma and Christian and went to Vernal for my friend's wedding. I was hesitant on making the drive with Christian potty training. I didn't know whether or not to put him in a diaper or risk it. He went in undies and did great! We only had to stop once on the way there...the way back, now that's a different story. Let's just say I had to clean the car seat. Anyway, on Friday, the 18th, Stephanie got married. Congrats Steph and Jason! I took my mom with me to the ceremony so I didn't have to go by myself and then my Grandma came with us to the reception. I also took Emma and Christian so they could meet Stephanie. Steph and I became friends in fourth grade and were inseparable after that. Through high school and boyfriends and different directions after high school, I still consider her my best friend. Before seeing her at her wedding, it had been about eight or nine years since I had seen her. She looks great! She lives up in Alaska and I would love to go visit her. I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her again. It honestly felt like nothing had changed between us. I would love to be able to catch up and spend time together again. Boy, did we have great times when we were younger!! I also got to see a good friend at her reception. Our friend Scott had driven from Arizona to be there for Stephanie on her big day. He moved before we graduated so I haven't seen him in forever. We went to a lot of dances together and the three of us, along with a couple other guys were really close during high school. Some of the "old gang" had a BBQ on Sunday, but I had to get started on the drive home and couldn't go. I was disappointed, but I had to get back home. I got to spend some time with my family and Christian got to play with his cousins. He had a blast and didn't want to leave. The drive home was pure HELL! The wind was so bad I was holding onto the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were white and my hands were sore when I finally got home. Emma doesn't do so well on that drive so that made it even funner. I can't believe how much Vernal has grown! I haven't been there since last year some time. (I think around Sept or so...I suck, I know. Sorry Mom!) Vernal has grown so much it's crazy. There are houses everywhere!!

Me and Stephanie. There is a website that has all of her gorgeous wedding pictures. Go check it out!! She's a hottie!!
Four generations: My grandma, Christian, Me and Emma and my mom.

This June is my ten, yes you read correctly, ten year high school reunion. I am so torn on whether or not I want to go. I graduated early from high school so I could just be done with that whole thing. I don't know if I need or want to go back. I know if I go, I will regret going. And I also know if I don't go, I will regret not going. I still feel like I should be in high school. I don't feel much different than I did back then. I am still an insecure, everyone else is better then me freak. What if I go and say something stupid? Everyone will be so skinny and so cute and blah!!! I don't think I want to even open up that chapter of a very closed book. I had one boyfriend through most of high school and unfortunately, I let a lot of relationships suffer, if not slip away, because of this one boyfriend. I can't change that now and still feel like sometimes I am having to deal with that. I have luckily made amends with a very good friend I had back in high school. I am very glad that we were able to put stupid high school stuff behind us and move past all the drama from the halls of Uintah. I have a little bit longer to decide, so we'll see.

My new hair isn't that new anymore. I actually think I might need my roots touched up by now. I am still getting used to the color. The cut is okay. Things have been crazy lately so my hair gets pulled up a lot more then it used to. I also got a new hat that has become my new friend. I was dark for almost seven years. I felt like it was time for a change. I'm pretty sure I will go dark again, probably in the fall, but for now it'll do. It's kinda pricey to stay lighter, so we'll see how long it'll last. The pictures aren't that great, but they'll do.

I chopped about two inches off the bottom and got layers put in. You can't really see the color in these pictures, but it is much lighter. I just noticed how wide that shirt makes me look...don't think I will be wearing that one for awhile...and I look like a dork. And my chest looks huge...I had just stopped breastfeeding and I was very engorged...TMI, I know. Whenever Jenna would move from side to side and bump my arm which in turn would bump my chest, I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't scream. TMI again..okay, I'm done talking about that.

Much, much lighter...
Almost blond lighter...but I think I like it.

The same day I got my hair done, Emma got super sick at day care. Day care called me while I was getting the foils put in my hair and said that Emma had thrown up all over. I let Jenna (my new hair girl) finish putting the color and foils in and then I left to go get Emma. Marcus was going to leave work and meet me at home to take care of a sick baby. I felt guilty leaving her, but I knew she would be in good hands and what was I suppose to do...I looked like this...

Yes, she is wearing a red bow and a pink shirt. When I took her to daycare that morning she was in a red shirt. Her extra outfit in her diaper bag was pink. After she threw up, they changed her clothes, but not her bow. Yes, that is the first think I noticed when I walked into daycare...pathetic I know.

And just to finish up my list...one of my getting to be really good friends is pregnant. I am super excited for her. But I have to be honest, I am jealous. It seems like everyone and their mother's dog is pregnant right now. I don't necessarily want another baby right now; I can hardly take care of the two I have now. I don't know why I am jealous..probably just being dumb. Marcus and I have different views on how we want to bring our next child into our family. For the moment, all I can say is "agree to disagree". I don't know if I will ever be pregnant again. Yah, I was miserable for the whole nine months, but there is also a lot of stuff I miss and would love to experience again. I learned a long time ago that I have no say in how I become a mom; I will take what I am given.

I have a Wii injury on one of my fingers from our exciting tennis games with our friends on Friday. It's serious...I've gone through a lot of SpongeBob band aids. I hope I pull through. It hurts now from typing so much. I will get the Disneyland pictures up...someday. So, nanner neener Kim...I did do all my posts!!!!

Three Times in Three Weeks...

Emma has been to the doctor three times in the past three weeks...it's getting a bit ridiculous. The poor little girl can't catch a break. We should just move into a room at Wee Care.

Three weeks ago, we went in for her nasty diaper rash that would bleed every time she was changed. She would scream and cry because it hurt so bad, and I would cry because of the pain I was causing my baby. There were actually a couple of times I had to have Marcus do it because I just couldn't handle making her scream. Her regular pediatrician was booked solid that day so we just saw some PA or something. I wasn't very impressed with her. She said that the diaper rash was from antibiotics that Emma was on in Feburaury. Okay, that was two months ago, really? I don't think so, but whatever, she is the doctor, not me. She gave us a prescription for stuff to treat the yeast infection...I had a suspicion that that wasn't the case.

Skip ahead one week. Emma has had some nasty diapers constantly since we took her off breast milk and onto straight formula. I was pretty sure she was having a reaction to the formula. Her bum wasn't getting any better either. So we made an appointment again. This time her pediatrician was out of town, but her bum was so bad I didn't want to wait until he got back. At this visit, the Dr. (it wasn't the same PA. I didn't want her to see us this time) gave us different stuff for her bum and said it wasn't a yeast infection, but indeed caused by all the nasty diapers she has had. He too thought it was a reaction to the formula she was on. Emma can't tolerate any kind of formula. One kind we tried made her break out in hives, this kind made her sick, other kinds she wouldn't drink. So we had the option of buying soy formula in hopes that she would tolerate that until she was 12 months and we could put her on whole milk, or skip straight to the whole milk. We decided to skip straight to the whole milk and bypass the formula all together. So far, so good. When we went to the office this time, Emma had nasty water eyes and I thought it was just allergies. I was wrong. The doctor said it was Pink Eye and gave us drops to put in her eyes. Turns out he was wrong too.

Fast forward to today. Emma was so sick last night; fever, runny, nasty eyes, nose running like a faucet. She was a little better this morning, but that didn't last long. Her breathing got really raspy and horrible sounding and she wouldn't stay awake or eat. Around 6, I decided to call Wee Care and see if there were any doctors who could see her tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow to see her regular pediatrician. We made another trip to the doctor to see what was wrong this time. I am so glad we went in tonight. As soon as we got there, the nurse checked her oxygen level and sent us directly back to a room. There was no waiting room action for us. When we got back there, they weighed her and took her temperature. She had a fever, but not too high. Then they took her oxygen level again. The doctor then came in and said she was basically having an asthma attack. If I would have waited until tomorrow or if she got worse, they would have had to put her in the hospital. Those are words every mom likes to hear. She has Reactive Airways Disease (RAD). Basically, her lungs suck at the moment. She has a virus that is going around that has developed into RAD. She also has a double ear infection with one eardrum about to burst. Lovely. Her episode with RSV has scarred her lungs and made her more likely to get RAD. She is on steroids to help her lungs, antibiotics for her ear infection, breathing treatments (again), eye drops for her supposed pink eye and cream for her poor bum. Poor little girl.

When I was pregnant with Emma, we made a pact (or so I thought) with each other: she put me through hell while I was pregnant so after she was born, she was suppose to be Mother Freaking Teresa. She has had so many little issues and problems since she was born. I thank the Lord that none of them have been serious. She may develop asthma as a result of all this, but that is totally something we can live with. I will take her little issues that she has any day over something more serious. I should consider myself lucky.

5 Years Down...Eternity To Go...

On April 16, Marcus and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. I have been meaning to post about it and how we celebrated it for almost two weeks. Better late than never, right?

On the 14th, we went to Salt Lake without the kids. It was the first time that I had left Emma over night. Marcus' mom came down and stayed with Christian and Emma so Marcus and I could have a little get away. We stayed in Salt Lake and went to a Jazz game where we had suite tickets. During the first quarter, we got to go sit on the floor, three rows from the court. It was awesome. Jazz won and it was a great game. We had dinner in the suite and then went back to our hotel where we got to sit and do nothing; no chasing kids, no dealing with business, no computers, nothing. It was so nice. The next morning we got to sleep in. We didn't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn with Emma. We didn't even have to listen to Christian whine and want to watch Backyardigans. We took our time getting ready and before we left Salt Lake, we had lunch at the Lion House. It was a nice little get away.

Marcus and I had decided that we weren't going to get each other any gifts this year. I followed the rules; strictly a card, just like I was told. Marcus, on the other hand, yah, not so much. He bought me a diamond necklace. I love it! I should have figured that he would get me something; he always does that.

On our actual anniversary, Marcus made us a good dinner and we just hung out with Christian and Emma. It was fun and a good a anniversary.



Since it was our five year anniversary, here are five reasons why I love my husband.

1. Marcus can always make me laugh, regardless of the situation. It doesn't matter how angry I am at whatever or whoever, he can always me make laugh. Sometimes I just want to be mad, but then Marcus comes along and says or does something that makes me laugh. He can cheer me up and usually makes the hurt go away.



2. Marcus and I can have no matter what we do together. We can go on a road trip to Nauvoo, a honeymoon in Mexico, a last minute trip to San Fransisco, playing the Wii with friends, or just swinging in a park. It doesn't matter if it's extravagant or something simple; if we are together, we have fun. I love that we don't have to spend a lot of money to have fun together.



3. Marcus is an awesome father. Nothing is more important to him than his children. He puts them before anyone and anything. He always finds time to play with them, read to them or just hang out. It's very cute to watch him play with Emma, wrestle with Christian, pick out a duck for Taylor every night, or tease Jessi about dumb things. I love how much he loves his children and lets them know how much he does love them.



4. Marcus looks on the bright side of everything. I am a pessimist by nature, always have been and probably always will be. Marcus can always take whatever the situation is and make it positive. It honestly drives me crazy sometimes, but it's great that he can talk me off the edge. When we were going through infertility treatments and nothing was happening, he promised me things would be okay and we would have a baby within that year. All I keep thinking is how in the world can he make a promise like that? Nobody can promise that. Well, we brought Christian home before that year was up. Marcus also said (before we were pregnant) that he knew we would get pregnant and bring a baby into this world. Obviously, that happened to. I don't know if he is psychic of psycho, but he helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel quite often.



5. Marcus spoils me rotten. No matter what I want, he gives it to me. He makes every holiday and special occasion the absolute best. He goes above and beyond what he should. He never disappoints. He never wants anything in return. He says it makes him happy to see me happy. If he gets money as a gift or just has money in his wallet, he gives it away either to me or even donates it. When I get money, I spend it. Nobody gets my money; it's MINE. He is the most giving, selfless person I know. He takes great care of me and our family. The beginning of this year was rough for our family, but thanks to Marcus, we pulled through. If I need help with the kids, he is there. I don't even always have to ask for his help. He isn't afraid of changing diapers, cleaning up throw up, or getting dirty. He doesn't mind being in the kitchen or folding laundry. He lets me get out of the house without the kids and have "me" time. I love "me" time and couldn't survive without it. He believes in me and encourages me with anything I want to do. (regardless of how ridiculous it is.)



I don't always let Marcus know how much I truly do love and appreciate everything he does for me and our children. I don't express my feelings verbally all that well. I need to get better at that. I need to let Marcus know what a great example he is to me and thank him for everything he has taught me. We have been married five years, but have been together for seven years. I am not going to say it has all been easy. We have had our struggles and challenges: becoming a blended family, running our own businesses, losing a baby, infertility, life's daily struggles. We have also had some great times and amazing experiences: growing together as a new family, adopting Christian, getting sealed to Christian in the same temple we were married, the birth of our baby girl, watching our family learn and grow together. I know we will have more struggles in the future, but I also know the good times and awesome experiences will outweigh the bad times.

The past five years have taught me a lot about myself, about Marcus, and about life in general. I try to be the best wife and mother I can be, even though I know that many times I fall short. I need to thank Marcus for loving me in spite of my downfalls, annoying habits, mistakes, and all the little things that make me me. I've enjoyed the last seven years of being with Marcus and I look forward to the eternity that we get to spend together.

Project Say Something...We Are Changing the World

This week's question is from Amy. She asks: You have the chance to cure the world of Cancer or AIDS or stop the violence in Africa or Israel/Palestine...which would you choose, and why?

I feel like I am back in Ethics class in college. I BSed my way through the course; let's see if I can do it here too.

Cancer and AIDS are two horrible diseases. People can live with this conditions though. Cancer patients can have treatment, go into remission and live long, healthy lives. AIDS treatment is better than it has ever been. People living with AIDS are living longer, normal lives as well. Yes, there are the people who die of Cancer and AIDS on a daily basis. It breaks my heart to read or see stories of people dying of these diseases. The commercials for Jerry Lewis' telethon break my heart and honestly brings tears to my eyes. There are many doctors, scientists and researchers who are devoting their entire lives to find cures for these and many other diseases. My sister in law is an Oncologist at the University of Utah Hospital. I will let her cure cancer, and I will stop the violence in this screwed up world.

You can not turn on the television, radio or computer without reading about all the wars that are going on currently in this world. Honestly, it makes me sick to read them. Race, religion, territory issues, money or control; I don't care what the reason for the violence is. I would love to be able to make it stop. Reading about people dying on a daily basis for no reason is horrible. I've read stories about the military in Africa using rape as a weapon in war. The military and or government will find women, gang rape them for days to the point of the woman almost dying and then release the woman back into her society. Nothing happens to the men and the woman is shunned from her community and family. A lot of these women need medical attention and numerous surgeries to even start the physical healing process. Innocent people are dying daily. Men, women and children who just want to live in peace are being separated from their families, forced from their homes, beat, raped and/or murdered just because. I would love to be able to be a guiding light for these poor victims, a shelter from the storm, a light at the end of a tunnel. Being able to do anything to make the lives better for the innocent people who are affected by wars and fighting would be a life well spent.

I know and understand that victims of war are innocent, just like the men, women and children who get diagnosed with cancer or AIDS are. No one asks to be a victim of either situation. Wanting to treat one and not the other does not mean I don't care about the innocent lives lost to the problem not solved. Many people are devoted to finding a cure for diseases; how many people are trying to stop the violence? It's been a long running joke that many beauty pageant contestants who are asked about changing the world answer with, "world peace." Too bad they don't follow through. I am aware of all of our own countries problems, but aren't we all united regardless of where we live. Man, woman, black, brown, rich, poor, religious or not, does it really matter? Treat others the way you would want to be treated. We are all taught this from a very early age. What happens to the majority of society that they forget that simple lesson?

I'll let Heather cure cancer and I will stop the violence in the world. Together, our family will change the world!!!


Now that I am caught up with my PSS questions, my posts will become more me again...not necessarily a good thing, but no ones making you read.. :)

Project Say Something...Back to the Future

Last week my sister asked: You've been given the chance to take one trip through time - backward or forward. Where do you go, what do you do, and of course, why?

I wouldn't want to go forward; consider it fear of the unknown. I would be afraid of going forward and finding out that one of my children had died, and then I would have to come back to the present with that knowledge. I'm a "now" girl. I can't imagine living anytime in the world other than now. Being without my Blackberry for even an hour could send me into convulsions. Not having an I-pod when I go running is next to not having leave-in conditioner for my hair: unimaginable. I don't want to go into the future and realize how ridiculous the clothes I wear now really are. I don't want to see that aliens have taken over the world and humans are kept as pets being forced to lick our own butts.

With NBA playoffs in full swing right now, I can think of a time that I would like to go back to. Admitting this may end my marriage...love ya Sweets!! If I could take one trip backward in time, I would go to game six of the 1998 NBA playoffs between the Utah Jazz and the Chicago Bulls. Marcus has converted me into a die hard Jazz fan, but at the time of this game, I was in love with Micheal Jordan. He was God. I even had a life size cardboard cutout of the man. LOVED HIM!! Anyway, I digress. I would love to be in the crowd at the then Delta Center watching Michael Jordan win another title. The game was almost over, the Jazz were ahead and then He stepped up. Michael Jordan stole the ball from Karl Malone and hit a 20 foot jump shot to give the bulls the lead with 5.2 seconds left. The Chicago Bulls won 87-86. Other than just being a face in the crowd, what would I do and why? I would be taking pictures of the players' butts to add to my collection. Wanna see some examples? Thought you would never ask. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed taking them...



Awwwwwwwww Yeah!!!!

John Stockton reminds me of one of my uncles...I can't say anything about his butt. I feel dirty even posting the picture.

AK 47. His accent is so stinking adorable!!

The Mailman always delivers!

Project Say Something...Cookin' Up Some Grub

Two weeks ago, Kim asked: What is your favorite home cooked meal/why.. and what is your favorite recipe?

I have known the answer to this since I read the question over two weeks ago. Why haven't I answered then you ask? Because I am lazy. That's why. But I have started to feel guilty getting so behind on the questions. If I'm gonna play the game, I gotta follow the rules, right?

I think I have mentioned numerous times that I don't have favorites, so I will just include ones I like a lot. Before Christian and Emma came along, every other Friday after Jessi and Taylor went to their mom's, Marcus and I would cook dinner together. We would chose a recipe we have never tried before and make it together. Sometimes it wasn't the greatest; other times we found new dishes to try again. I think I enjoyed the time together more than I enjoyed the actual food. It was fun to be in the kitchen with Marcus. Now we don't really get to do that. One of us cooks while the other chases the little ones. We have very different tastes in food, but we would both compromise and Marcus has me enjoying food I would have never tried before.

One of my favorite recipes is for Three Cheese Manicotti. I am pulling the recipe out of my butt and battling a migraine while I am typing this so I make no guarantees on how close it is to the actual recipe that is downstairs.

Boil the manicotti noodles like the package says. When they are done, drain the water and lay them on wax paper or paper towels to dry. While the noodles are drying, you can make the cheese mixture. It's one package cream cheese, about 2 cups mozzarella cheese and some chives.I don't remember how much..just make it look pretty. After that is all mixed together, you gotta stuff the noodles. Being the perfectionist that I am, this part used to suck. Then I got lazy and now it's much easier. I cut the noodles down the middle, put some cheese mixture in it and then roll them back up, putting the sliced side down. You can't even tell they were cut open and it's way easier. After they are all stuffed, cover them in spaghetti sauce..any kind that floats your boat. Then add about 1 more cup of mozzarella cheese. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes...I think. Then add Parmesan cheese over the top..again, I don't know how much, just do it. Then bake it for about another five minutes. Then Presto Chango! You have dinner. Everyone in my family will eat this, and that rarely happens. I like to make it during the day while Emma is napping, and then throw it in the fridge until I need to bake it. It's pretty easy and really yummy. I have actually been planning my menu for each week on Sunday. It saves me money when I go grocery shopping, makes dinner time easier and cuts down on trips to the corner store for things that we don't have but need for dinner that night. We have also been trying new things a lot lately. We got stuck in a rut there for awhile and we were eating the same thing over and over. Now Marcus and I are taking turns and trying new things.

All this talk of food has made me hungry now.

MIA...

I have been missing in action for over a week now. I have plenty of stuff to blog about. I am just running around like a chicken with my head cut off...have you ever seen a chicken with his head cut off? I haven't and I never want to...that's just gross. Anyway, I have two Project Say Somethings to answer, pictures of our latest FHE outing, (there's lots of cleavage in them too...don't say I didn't warn you.)my trip to Vernal by myself with the two little ones, my best friend's wedding and seeing people I haven't seen in forever, the internal struggles and arguments I have in my head of whether or not I should go to my 10, yes I said 10! year high school reunion, my five year anniversary and how great my husband is, my new hair, finding out that a good friend is pregnant and being more than slightly jealous (crazy I know) and pictures from Disneyland I still haven't posted yet. Someday I will be able to cross off the above topics, but in the mean time, I have a three year old asleep in my arms and it sucks monkey toes to be typing this way...so I am done for now....and I had to get rid of the grumpy post as my last post..it was buggin' me.

I'm Grumpy...

I'm grumpy...for no good reason. That's the worst kind of grumpy. I'm exhausted, so I'm sure that has a factor in it. But it's the kind of exhausted that makes you too tired to sleep. Sounds stupid, I know. It seems like I am more tired now that Emma is FINALLY sleeping through the night than I was when I was getting up two to three times a night. I'm grumpy, exhausted and hungry. It's 12:30 AM. I shouldn't eat anything so late..it'll go straight to my butt. And I have to be up and out the door early with the two little ones. That'll be fun. And I am watching a show on Bravo called Work Out. So now I feel fat and lazy. Great! I am grumpy, exhausted, hungry, feeling fat and lazy...and now I have to pee. Great!


See...told you I was grumpy.

I've Been Tagged...

I've been tagged by Mandy with this cute little questionnaire about me and my hubby. (Careful if you go to her link; there are some nasty toe pictures.) :) Since Marcus and I are celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary next week, this is perfect timing.



How long have you been together? We have been together 7 years, and as of next week, married 5 years.

How long did you date? 2 years.

How old is he? OLD! 36. And yes, up until I had my hair done last week, I had more gray hair then he does. He is the one who makes me go gray. I am so easy to live with and deal with, that's why he doesn't have any.

Who said ‘I love you’ first? Marcus did. No way would I put my emotions out there first.

Who is taller? Marcus

Who is smarter? I hate to admit it, but Marcus is. He has an answer and solution to everything. I do like to remind him that I graduated high school with a 3.963 GPA...which obviously means nothing now..but it helps me feel better all right!

Who does the laundry? Me. Marcus says he is afraid of ruining my clothes..I think that is just an excuse.

Who does the dishes? Me. Three loads a day. Whining and complaining the whole time. I hate doing the dishes. When I was growing up, my sister and I had to take turns emptying the dishwasher. I have hated it ever since.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? We have changed numerous times. When Emma was a newborn, I was. Now Marcus is. It just depends on the night usually. As long as I have my pillows, I'll sleep wherever.

Who pays the bills? I pay our personal bills and he pays all the businesses bills.

Who mows the lawn? Marcus usually does. Before I got pregnant, I would help. One would mow while the other would weed eat. But last summer I was pregnant and then just had a baby. You couldn't pay me enough to sit on the riding lawn mower for awhile after that. I would like to get back out there this summer and help though. I actually enjoy it. My hillbilly Vernal side shines through when I am riding the riding mower.

Who cooks dinner? Up until two weeks, the answer would have been just Marcus. Now it is both of us. I try to do it on the days when it works in Orem so he doesn't have to worry about making dinner when he gets home.

Who is more stubborn? I am. I will be the first one to admit it. I get it from my dad. I am not ashamed.

Who kissed who first? Marcus kissed me first. He couldn't resist any longer. I'm that hot...or something.

Who asked who out? He asked me out first. Then he ditched me. Some excuse about Jessi having a dentist appt and he wanted to stay with her or something. He was just chicken and had to bring his little girl in to make himself feel better. :) He eventually asked me out again after I was a little, shall we say, pushy?!

Who proposed? Marcus did. I'll have to do a post on that whole experience sometime. It was awesome!

Who is more sensitive? Marcus is, hands down. He is very in touch with his emotions. (That's my nice way of saying "sissy"! I kid!!) He still can't tell the story of us bringing Christian into our family without tearing up. It is very sweet.

He is my stud!

Project Say Something...Playing Catch Up

Last week Shane asked: In the story of your life, who plays The Hero, The Villain and The Trusty Sidekick?

I really like this question, but hate it at the same time. I wish I had some clever, witty answer...but I don't. Sometimes, I feel like I have to be careful because of people who might come across my writings. I feel like this is one of the those times; I never know who is reading. So I am going to sugar coat my answer so no one gets offended or feelings hurt for being included or not being included.
In the story of my life, I feel like everyone who has been a part of my life, at some point, has played the hero, the villain and the trusty sidekick. Depending on the experience, the people and the outcome of that particular experience, the roles change quite frequently. I can honestly say no one has claimed any one role. So I guess somehow, everyone is my hero. (Some are just stupider than others.)

I feel like saying everyone is everything is a cop-out of an answer, so as of today my hero is Marcus, my villain is Emma and my trusty sidekick is Christian. Monday night, Emma woke up at 1:30 am and wouldn't go back to sleep. She was just screaming hysterically. She has never done anything like that before. This was the worst night she has had other than the first night home from the hospital. There was nothing Marcus or I could do to get her to go back to sleep. Marcus and I took turns between 1:30 and 3:30 to try to get her to go back to sleep. She would sleep for a few minutes and give us a false sense of hope. Then she would wake up and just starting screaming again. I know some people would tell me to just let her scream, but with other people in the house, how can I do that to them? It breaks my heart as a mom to not know how to make my baby feel better when she is obviously miserable. Then at 3:30 am, Christian decided to wake up and he needed his mommy. I was coming out of the bathroom, it was completely dark and he was standing right there. It scared me to death. I went to help him get back in bed and back to sleep. After I thought he was situated, I went back to take demon baby. Marcus told me he was fine with her. Then Christian came back in and needed me again. So I go to Christian's room and the next thing I know, it is 7:15 am and Marcus is bringing me Emma who is still upset. Since 3:30 she probably only slept half an hour. Marcus stayed up with her so I could get some sleep. He did this knowing that he had to drive to Orem that morning and work and then drive home. What a stud!

Mondays are the days that Christian and Emma go to daycare; I have never been happier but felt so guilty to take Emma to daycare. I called daycare after about three hours and they said she was still being a diva baby. She wouldn't let anyone put her down, she was really fussy, and she still wouldn't sleep. So I had to stop doing my work and go get her. Even today, I don't know what was wrong with her. She is perfectly fine now and even slept through the night last night. What a diva.

Anyway, not the kind of answer I am sure that was meant, but it's my answer anyway. Marcus is my hero for being patient enough with a screaming baby and letting me get sleep.
Emma is, okay was, my villain for staying up all night screaming.
Christian is my trusty sidekick for needing me to put him back to bed so I could escape the hell that was my bedroom with a screaming baby.

This question has made me realize that I need to create a blog that no one knows who is the writer of the stuff. I worry too much about hurting people's feelings or offending someone. I would like a place where I could be completely honest and say what I want to say about anything. Why did my mom have to raise such a nice little girl?...that little girl would be me if you were wondering... :)..yes, I am nice...really.

Wow..that is a very rambley post...maybe I should go to bed.

Little Stinkers...

(yes, he is hitting her over the head with a sponge...that's my boy. She thought it was funny, so why intervene?)

Normally, that kind of stuff would cause a major mommy meltdown moment. My sister sent me a box of goodies that I haven't put away yet, so the little ones decided to have some fun while Mommy wasn't looking. Now, I said it would NORMALLY cause a meltdown, but I was right in the middle of making strawberry freezer jam, spaghetti sauce for dinner tonight, finishing up the activity for FHE and making the treat for FHE. Once I took away the make-up, I let them go nuts with the rest of the stuff. When I was done in the kitchen, Christian helped me clean up the mess, and all was well. Now, if I only had some help cleaning up the kitchen...

My Little Princess...

Everything Must Come To An End...

For the past ten months I have not been able to eat any kind of nuts. I love peanut butter! But for the sake of this beautiful little girl



I have refrained. Her pediatrician thinks she may be allergic to nuts based on her projectile vomiting after I would eat peanut butter.

HOWEVER:


this happened today. Why? Because both of our bodies have decided it's time to move on. And because of this:



Today was my last day of breastfeeding my baby. And yes, I am an emotional basket case. Ten months ago I sat in my living room crying because I didn't think I could do it and I thought about quitting. Now, ten months later, I sit in my living room crying because I don't want to stop. I'm not crying because of the 2 am feedings, or because I will miss wearing the nursing bras, or because I will miss Emma occasionally biting me. I cry because my baby no longer needs me. (I know, I know..she will always need me...blah blah blah..you know what I mean.) My baby is no longer a baby. She now waves and gives kisses and climbs the stairs and sleeps through the night and eats people food (again, you know what I mean) and she is just so stinking big. Next thing I know, she will be off to college and married. So sad. But isn't she cute?!





On a much happier note, I hope it's April forever!!!