So what if I had Diet Coke for breakfast and cereal for lunch today?
So what if I don't think your little dog sitting in your shopping cart wearing a Halloween sweater is a service dog? Can't you read the sign that says "No pets allowed"? Dogs lick their own butts. Your dog licks you while you pet him for being a good dog in the grocery store. You touch the produce I am going to buy. Essentially, I am feeding my children dog butt. Leave your dog at home. It's just nasty. He is not your child.
So what if I am a hypocrite? I tell my children to grab a jacket and not wear flip flops when it's cold outside, then I am the one shivering like a frightened Chihuahua because I am wearing flip flops and no jacket. I make my children wear helmets when they ride their bikes, but don't wear one when I do. First, I hate riding bikes. I only do it for them. Second, I hate wearing helmets. I don't know if I even could suffer more brain damage. I mean, come on, have you met me?!
So what if I steal candy from my kids or make them give me the first bite of anything good they are eating? Someone has to taste it and make sure there isn't poison in it. I'll sacrifice myself for the love of my children.
So what if I think about becoming inactive just so I don't have to sit through Sacrament with Emma? She is pure evil, you know...especially during Sacrament.
So what if I don't let my kids eat cookie dough or cake batter? There are raw eggs in it, you know. My mommy magic makes me immune, so I can eat all the cookie dough and cake batter I want. (That's one of the perks of being the mommy.)
So what if I am deathly afraid of haunted houses? Why would you willfully want to be scared enough to possibly pee yourself? No thank you. You go, I will stay home and make you some nice hot chocolate and have a change of pants ready for you when you get home.
So what if my 13 year old step-daughter tells her friend I bug her? I must be doing my job then, right?
So what if I have three loads of laundry, dishes and vacuuming to do, but instead am sitting here on the computer? I think I know where my kids are. I saw them a few hours ago...