Wednesday, September 27, 2006

What If...


I was driving home from SLC today after eating lunch with Marcus. Christian was watching a great Elmo movie (I use the term "great" very loosely) and I was extremely tired and bored. So I got to thinking about all the "What If's" in life? What if I would have stayed in Vernal and not moved out to the "big city" after high school? I would live on a farm, milking cows in the morning and working at Wal-Mart in the afternoons. What if I would have pursued what I thought was, at the time, the love of my life? I would be babyless, penniless and probably living out of a cardboard box by now. What if I would have not sent Marcus the famous email? He would never have been manly enough to ask me out on his own. What if I didn't fall madly, deeply, head over heels for Marcus and wanted to spend the rest of forever with him? I wouldn't have any one to give my a hard time about my cankles, my adam's apple, my obsession with Grey's Anatomy, or my BIG mistake of spending $100 on TMX Elmo. I also wouldn't have anyone to make me feel as special and wonderful as he does every single day. What if I wouldn't have had a miscarriage or failed attempts at infertility treatments? I wouldn't have the most beautiful, most wonderful, funniest little boy in the world who can just look at me with his big, brown eyes and melt my heart. So I decided today that life takes you down the paths that you are meant to be on. Sometimes life seems to be awful, horrible and down right sucky. But things seem to always work out the way they are suppose to be. I could sit for hours and think about all the what if's in life and all the different paths and places I could be right now, but I am perfectly happy right now where I am.

2 comments:

8 1/2 inch ankles said...

I was man enough to ask you out!!! I was just playing hard to get.

Monica said...

Funny...You are a funny man.