Crafter Wannabe....

I've finally been wanting to be creative (or at least pretend to be) after a very long dry spell. Here are some of the things I have done the last few weeks.

I made this from a blog I saw (and of course, can't remember for the life of me where) and it only cost me two bucks!! I love me some cheap stuff. The glass container is just a vase and a candle holder I bought at the dollar store. I used some gorilla glue to glue them together. To buy this in the stores, you are looking at around $24. I then made the moss balls by crumpling up a newspaper into a ball, covering it in tape and then using a hot glue gun to glue the moss on. I only burned myself a couple hundred times, but I think it was well worth it.

The new creation in it's home...for now. I rearrange stuff way to much. I wonder if there is a support group for that...excessive rearranging and decorating anonymous.

You like how the sneaky three year old how to be in the picture? She's a stinker!!

I also made Emma and all my little nieces these cute bow holders. I saw something similar to this at the Quilted Bear and knew and I could make it much cheaper than what they were selling it for. All I had to buy was the wood. My handy dandy husband used his big boy toys and cut them all nice and straight for me.

This one is Emma's. Now we just need to figure out how to make cute little bows and flowers to add to it. (Hint. Hint. Kim)

We painted the family room back in March. Okay, I guess I can't really say "we". It was right after my surgery and I still couldn't lift anything or hardly move, but I helped..a little. I am very good at telling Marcus what to do. I will put pictures up of the whole room once we are completely done. We still need to do the touch ups which is my job and that's why it hasn't been done yet. There is no way I am going to have paint out when the monkeys are home and when they are at school, I always seem to have too much other stuff to do. Finishing that room is on my to do list. Anyway, we painted this little arch way thing above the fireplace. I still can't decide if I like it green or not. I made the G and redid the photo frame on the mantle. In the past, I have always had big black candlesticks with candles in the archway, but I got tired of dealing with them melting every fall and winter from the fireplace. Duh, what did I expect? I think I like it, but I am not sold on the whole thing yet.

I also redid the candle stick and picture frame that I put in the sitting room. FYI: Emma's picture is in one of the small frames because she is the only one that wouldn't freak out if her picture was smaller than anyone else. Drama.

My goal lately is to simply and get our lives back in order. Things have been complete chaos and I'm taking my life back dang it!! I painted these clipboards and put them in the kitchen kind of as a "command center". The top one is for the week's menu...when I actually write one up. Then the other two are for school stuff, dance or soccer info, or anything kid related that I should be aware of. So far it is working out very well. I don't lose papers that the kids need for school and I can put the school calendars up there and always know where they are.

This doll house is going to be the death of me. I have been working on this thing for ages!! I need to finish the floors and the outside, but it's one of those projects I can't work on when Emma is awake because she wants to help paint and that doesn't usually go over well. Another "some day" project...but I'm closer than ever.

This wooden box thingamajig is the next project I want to do. I want to sand and repaint it and then reupholster the top. I'm wanting to get it done, but it keeps getting pushed to the back of the projects.

Here's to more crafting and great ideas!!

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Babies Come From Yard Sales...

Christian has asked me twice this last week if I was going to have a baby. Um...what?? Why did he ask? Do I look pregnant? No. (or at least I hope not.) Have we talked about bringing a baby home lately? No. Why did he ask....because we had a yard sale.

Let me explain a little...

We had a yard sale this past summer to help us raise money to adopt another baby. In Christian's world, it only makes sense that since we had the yard sale, we should be having a baby. Oh, how I wish it were really that easy.

Unfortunately, we have had to put adding another baby into our family on hold...possibly forever. Wow..it's even hard to write that. To think that chapter in my life is over breaks my heart and I get a lump in my throat every time I am forced to think about it. What makes the situation even worse is that I have no say in the matter. It's all about money. Circumstances beyond our control has made it impossible to even think about adoption right now.

Why not just get pregnant again? I know you are thinking that. We had Emma, so why not go that route again? I have a couple of reasons and of course you know I am going to share those.

1. When I as 24 I was told I would never get pregnant. The way the doctor told me was just like she was diagnosing a sinus infection. It may not have been a big deal to her, but that one sentence changed my life forever. Obviously, I have proven the doctors wrong. We have actually been pregnant three times. One of those pregnancies resulted in a happy, healthy, very sassy baby girl. However, I don't know if I can get pregnant again and carry the baby to term. I don't think I even want to try.

2. My pregnancy with Emma has hell. Yes, the outcome was well worth every miserable minute, but the whole nine months were horrible. Now with two small children and more responsibilities, I don't think being sick for nine months is fair to anyone.

3. I don't think I can deal with the constant worrying every day that today may be the last day I am pregnant. The fear of losing the baby while I am pregnant is horrible.

4. I really want another beautiful brown baby. I can't give birth to a brown baby...well, I guess I could, but I don't think Marcus would like that. (I kid, I kid.)

5. I really feel strongly that we are to adopt again. I have felt this way for a long time and can't shake this feeling. I have learned a long time ago that I have no control how I become a mommy. I also know that it is not in my time that things happen..no matter how much I whine about it.

Maybe we aren't completely closing this chapter in our lives forever. Maybe we are just taking a very long intermission. I wish I knew...

So if Christian now thinks that babies come from yard sales, how long do you think I can I get by before we have to have "the talk"?? 18? 19?

Out of Whack...

The month of September has kicked my butt. I have been crazy busy with no time to sit and catch my breath. Picture season has started in full force. I am more involved in the business now than I ever have been before. Young Women's requires my time, and with Christian being in school now, I am involved in the PTA. Add to all that all the running around for the kids between different school times, dance and soccer, trying to keep the house somewhat decent and time to unwind so I don't completely go insane, I am beat.

I am determined to find a way to make it all work. Unfortunatly I can't add any more hours in my day, I just need to find a way to balance my time better. With my working so much, my kids have not been the top of my priority list. Emma has been effected the most. Her whole life she has pretty much had all my attention all the time. Now that I haven't been able to give it to her, she is having attachment issues. Places she normally loves to go, (dance, preschool and nursery at church) she wants nothing to do with and freaks out if I try to leave her.

This week isn't as bad as the rest of the month so I am trying to use it to my advantage. I am making my kids a bigger priority and scheduling time for them, together and one on one. FYI: I went on a bike ride with Christian last night, and he kicked my butt. He totally schooled me!!
Emma can play Barbies and Little People like there is no tomorrow, and I have to admit, I am SoOoO sick of playing Little People with that little girl.

I am trying to get caught up on all my cleaning. I have finally realized that having a perfect house isn't worth. There were so many times I would tell the kids I couldn't play with them because I had to do the dishes or fold the laundry. My laundry room has exploded and my sink is now usually full. But we play and we play hard.

Trying to keep caught up on work stuff and Young Women's stuff is all about not procrastinating. I am the queen of procrastination.

There has to be a balance between work life, family life and "me" life. I just haven't found it yet. If anyone finds it, please share.

Oh! And the cherry on top, I just signed up to run the Ogden 1/2 marathon in May next year. Time to get training. Time that I don't have. I feel like I need something to work towards and a goal to accomplish. I all ready paid my money so I am committed.

I can do it all!!! Or maybe, it's the cold medicine doing all the talking and all I really want to do is hide in the basement!! :)

Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies...

I have been MIA for awhile. I wish I could blame it on some wonderful vacation we have been on...laying on the beach drinking drinks with umbrellas in them. Or that we have been soo busy doing so many awesome activities this summer that I haven't had a chance to do anything but have fun. But truth be told, I haven't done anything. And I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I have been in a dark place for awhile and just barely have decided it's time to let some light back in. We seem to be experiencing the "if it can go wrong, it will go wrong" syndrome the past four months. It's hard to stay positive and keep my head up with some of the things I have had to deal with. I'm not trying to have a pity party...I've had enough of those. I feel like I owe some people an explanation. I have let people down. I haven't upheld commitments. I have gotten lazy in my work and my church calling. My poor kids have seen a side of me I am not very proud of. I have had my faith tested. There are days I have stayed in my sweats all day and haven't done a thing. I have let my to do list get longer and longer and let my responsibilites and commitments take a back seat.

We have experienced financial problems, family problems and personal problems. Every time I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, it turned out to be a train pushing me back off track. I have finally taken a step back and realized I have had enough. I will no longer sit back and feel sorry myself. I will be the mom I know I can be and the person that I know I should be. I'm still dealing with a lot of issues, but with the help of a little "happy pill" and an AwEsOmE family I am getting back to who I want to be. I have always thought I had to be perfect and try to do everything and be Wonder Woman. If I haven't learned anything else from these past four months, I can say that I have learned that I can't do it all and I am far from perfect.

Every blog I read seems to be about how perfect their little lives are and how perfect their family is. I am not afraid to write about the bad stuff. Life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes there are dark clouds and thunder storms. I think it's how we get through those hard times that define us and makes us who we are. I am Monica and I have issues.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy, EmMa!!!

How does a little baby go from this...

...to this in a blink of an eye?

Happy 3rd Birthday, Emma.

Tiny Dancer...

We signed Emma up for a Mommy and Me dance class this last fall. They had their Spring concert a couple of weeks ago. When classes first started, I had to ask myself, "What in the world did I do?" Emma didn't listen, didn't dance, didn't do much of anything. All she wanted to do was run around and then sit on my lap. Then after Christmas break, something just clicked. She is a totally different little dancer now. She was so excited for her concert. She loved it!! She knows the technical names of the a lot the moves and is dancing around the house all the time now. We weren't going to sign her up for summer classes, but after the concert she wouldn't stop talking about dancing or her class. So I caved and signed her up for summer classes. I don't stay with her anymore; she has moved up to the 3/4 year old class. It has been two weeks and she is still loving it.

She LoVeD her trophy and flower. After the concert we went and got ice cream...well sorbet for the little dancer. Emma did GrEaT! I was so worried she would just get on stage and stand there. I was very impressed. I love this little girl to pieces!!

Welcome To The Zoo...

A couple of weekends ago, Marcus took his girls to a Brian Regan concert in St. George. I wasn't about to just sit at home with Christian and Emma so we went to the zoo with my sister and her girls. Christian hadn't been to the zoo in a long time and Emma had never gone. Emma loved it. Christian was on his own page that day and wanted to do his own thing, but it was fun.

They had to tell the giraffes hi from daddy.

Emma was the only one who would be in my pictures.

We had to ride the carousel and the train.

The day after the zoo Emma got sick and has been fighting it ever since. She has so politely passed it on to me. She said the snakes from the zoo made her sick. Stinkin' snakes!

This picture is just hilarious. The attitude on Emma's face is priceless!! She asked me to take their picture and she kept doing that exact same face.

This is a sneak peak of my next post..So FrEaKiN AdOrAbLe!!!

Happy Mother's Day...

Happy Mother's Day to all you awesome moms out there!!

My Grandma and my mom


My awesome sister

My mom, grandma and sister are all three great moms and great examples to me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. You RocK!! LoVe Ya!!

And to this wonderful, awesome mom: Thank you for letting me become a mom. It was your precious gift that allowed me to become a mommy.

"He is mine in a way he will never be hers, yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine. And, so, together, we are Motherhood."-Desha Wood

I love this quote by Marjorie Hinckley:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know that I was really here and that I really lived".

I've Created a Monster...

So everyone says that Emma looks just like me and my mom says that she acts just like I did when I was her age. (There is no way I was as sassy and stubborn as she is...nope, not possible.)

ignore the food on her face, after all, I did say she was like me...


I'm beginning to think she is more like me than I originally thought.

She can't play with her toys without lining them all up in very neat lines.

She is very proud of this habit she has. I think it's a little creepy, but at the same time, I couldn't be prouder!! She is my daughter after all.

Looks like it has moved onto her snack too.

Can you say OCD?
Like mother, like daughter.

Look Who's Back...

It seems I have checked out the past little while. Between my surgery, all our business drama, wanting adopt again, and life, I have somehow lost who I am. I let the stress and negativity almost drown me. I almost lost faith and hope. I almost lost my faith in humanity. I let people's negative comments about my surgery effect me way more then I should have. I let people's questions about why we are wanting to adopt again now make me grumpy. (I know we are going through a lawsuit and don't have an extra penny to adopt right now, but I also know that we are suppose to adopt now. I know there is a baby out there for us. It may not happen right away, but I can't push aside the feelings I have.) Trying to get our adoption blog up, researching adoption and trying to find a way to make it work has given me something positive and happy to focus on amidst all this crap...

I haven't been a very pleasant person lately. But.....she's baaaack!!!

I feel like me again. I've gotten to the point where it's either sink or swim, and I have decided to swim. I haven't done anything crafty in months. I have lost all creativity I once had. But hopefully over time, it'll all come back. Here are a few things I accomplished this weekend:

I made marble magnets for Mother's Day and for Teacher Appreciation Day. I used my Cricut to cut the vinyl. It did an okay job but I couldn't put the letters on straight to save my life. I had everything I needed in my craft room except for the marbles. It turned out to be a really inexpensive project.

I also made little bucket's for Christian's and Emma's teachers for Teacher Appreciation Day. I filled them candy, a cute fat pen and the marble magnets. Now I just need to make sure the candy actually stays in there between now and Friday. I know a couple of little hands that like to swipe candy...okay, maybe my hands aren't so little...

I FINALLY finished Emma's growth chart. Never mind the fact that she will be three next month.

Painting these boards is a pain in the butt!!! I forgot how long it took me to do Christian's, and then as soon as I started Emma's, it all came back to me. Emma's chart has gone through a couple of wooden embellishments all ready. I think it was her way of telling me to get it done and on the wall all ready.

I also did a project for my Mom for Mother's Day, but can't post pictures. Here's proof that it was messy though!

We also put together Tammie's (Christian's birth mom) Mother's Day package. I always stress over what to send. There is nothing I could ever send her to let her know how much we love and appreciate her. She is an answer to our prayers and my biggest hero. There is nothing I could ever make or buy that would give her as much joy and happiness as the gift she gave us. She got some of the marble magnets as well. Christian made her a Mother's Day card and we wrote her a very long letter. Since we brought Christian home, we have been sending Tammie scrapbook pages for her to add to the book we gave her. It's nothing too fancy, but we all love it. I also ordered her a necklace from this cute little etsy shop. I love it and want to order one for myself soon.

I'm also trying to regain control of my house again. Laundry will not defeat me!!

I am also getting my butt kicked trying to get the yard sale organized for our adoption fundraiser. I never realized how much work goes into these things. If you have any pointers or tips on how to make things go smoothly, please share.

I have lots more projects to come. I am bound and determined to finished the blasted doll house before all the kids are too big to play with it!!