Today's Frustrations

For all those who I have "inconvenienced" by having a baby in June, DEAL WITH IT!! I didn't plan it to ruin your lives; this is as much as a surprise for us as it is for you. Move on with your lives.

I am not an accountant. Trying to balance Charley's books and do all the taxes and year end stuff SUCKS!!! I'm going to throw my computer and papers out the door!

Not only does my baby not have a room, she has no name. I have begun to call her "Hey you". Marcus and I can not agree on any names and I can't seem to find the time to sit and look at different options.

I am trying to redo the hall bathroom because it was way too "girly" now that we have a boy in the family. He all ready likes to wear my shoes; I don't need him to grow up thinking he is a princess. Christian and I went looking for different things today and we came home with NOTHING!! (other then the dry cleaning that cost me 50 freaking bucks!) I just can't commit to any colors for that stinking bathroom.

Bye bye size 6. Hello Kangaroo pants. Why are most maternity clothes so flipping hideous?

Marcus made my Firefox Bronco themed and I don't know how to change it. Stupid horses!

I'm a little grumpy today...can you tell?!?!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!!

Christian turned two years old today. My little boy is growing up. It's not right. He is two going on six. He is so smart and funny; there is never a dull moment with him. He can say so much now. I have to watch EVERY thing I say because he will copy me word for word. He loves to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and The Wheels on the Bus. We are still working on his ABC's and counting. He refuses to start with the number 1. 2 is the beginning for him. Any number that he can't remember is 2. We missed everything from the first year of his life and I still feel cheated at times. But if I sit and think about it, we have been able to experience so much with him this past year. We heard him say his first word, "mama." (of course) He took his first steps with us. He has grown so much. He is a little boy now, no longer a baby.
He is so polite and kind. He will usually say "Please" and "Thank you." He will bless you when you sneeze or cough. He can say the prayer at dinner (with a little help from Mommy or Daddy). If you are crying or sad, he will come give you a hug and kiss. He will do anything for candy. He loves macaroni and cheese. First thing in the morning and whenever he is thirsty, he will say "milk". That means he needs a drink. He LOVES Elmo and SpongeBob. He likes to read books. His favorites right now are Goodnight Moon and Love You Forever. He loves to play with his sisters and his daddy. They are crazy together. He enjoys playing guitars with his daddy. He rides his bike around the kitchen like a madman. It is pretty scary to get in his way. He is starting to get interested in potty training. (mainly because of his Elmo toilet seat.) Right now he thinks the toilet is only to throw up in. He will go to the toilet, stand over it, and make throwing up noises. He has seen me do this many times and thinks it's normal. He will talk into his baby monitor because he knows I can hear him. He says "Hi, Mommy" and with some help, I have also heard "Mommy, I need a kiss." (That was my favorite.)
He can be a handful at times; he loves to climb and get into EVERYTHING. If you take your eyes off him for a split second, he is gone. He tries to drink from the dogs' water like he sees the dogs do. He likes watching Sesame Street, mainly Elmo's World. Gotta love that show. He also likes to watch football on TV with his daddy. Whenever he sees it on TV he yells "football, football". He also likes the Utah Jazz. He can tell when they are playing or whenever somebody is wearing something with the Jazz logo on it.
Christian brings so much joy and love into our home. He was meant to be our little boy. Happy Birthday my beautiful baby boy!!

Not Funny...Well Kinda

Frustrated mommy: Come here so I can change your diaper.
Naughty little boy: No!
Frustrated mommy: Excuse me?
Naughty little boy: Excuse you.

So I Thought My Life Sucked Before....

Today Christian went in for his 2 year wellness check with his pediatrician. He is a healthy little boy who is growing like a weed. He is still considered small for his age, but what he lacks in weight and height, he makes up with energy and attitude. I was talking to the Dr. about toilet training and his dang obsession with his stinking sippy cup. We all decided it was time to get him off the cup. He uses it primarily for a pacifier instead of a cup. But, this is also what he drinks out of, so taking it away completely is not an option. To get him from not relying on his cup as much, she recommended that he doesn't have it during the day unless he is drinking, he doesn't have it at nap time, and eventually, not at bedtime either. Does this woman hate me?! What did I ever do to her? I know it is time to get rid of it, but now, with everything else going on, can we really do it?
I figured there was no time like the present to start. So at nap time today, he didn't get a cup. I figured he would cry for a while and cry himself to sleep. Yeah, right...and what am I smoking? He screamed and cried for a long time, so I went up and rocked him for awhile and put him back down. Big mistake. This made him even more upset when I put him back in bed. I let him cry for another 20 minutes or so before I just couldn't take it anymore. He wanted nothing to do with me when I tried to pick him up. He said...or rather screamed, "NO!" and pushed me away and kept on screaming. Ouch! That hurt. I finally just picked him up and rocked him. He calmed down, but refused to look at me. If I caught him looking at me, he would quickly turn his head and look somewhere else. He finally fell asleep, so I tried to lay him in his bed....no such luck. He freaked out all over again. I got him back up and rocked him until he was asleep and then I laid down with him on my bed so I could sneak away a lot easier then putting him in his crib. He has now been asleep for the last hour. Thank goodness!! And it's only the first day.
I don't really see what's wrong with a grown man still sucking on a sippy cup for comfort. Seriously, what is the harm?!

Take Luck!

This past week has been a pretty stressful one. New Year's in Vernal, driving back from Vernal, news from the doctor about the baby, Christian having another seizure on Thursday, and all the other little things that happened this past week. Not to mention Marcus starting a new job on Monday. He wasn't even looking for anything new, the new company came looking for him. It will be a good move for him and for our family, and I know he will do great. After all that, Marcus and I were finally able to go out alone on Saturday. The girls are with their mom this week, so we just had to get a sitter for Christian. We went out to dinner and to a comedy show in SLC. It was kind of a late birthday present to Marcus. We were suppose to go see the comedian, Brian Regan, in Dec., but I procrastinated on getting those tickets and they sold out. So we had to wait until Jan. to go see him. It was a pretty good show. It was nice to be out of the house, no kids, no "shop talk", and no worrying about everything that has happened this week. Life quickly went back to normal Saturday night when we got home. Christian woke up almost every hour, crying for whatever reason. He is getting sick again...FUN! The doctor says this is just a cold, so hopefully he can shake it quickly. Everyone blamed Christian for getting them sick around Christmas/New Year's, but he didn't have cold symptoms then. So now I can blame everyone who blamed him who know have colds because he does too. Thanks everyone! :) Let's all hope that this week can be a little more boring then the previous one.

It's A Girl!!

We learned two weeks ago that we are having a little girl. I am not completely convinced since it was pretty early in the pregnancy, but I'm sure we would have seen more if it was a boy. So now that we are pretty certain it is a girl, we have run into more problems. Marcus and I can't completely agree on any names. We have a couple we are throwing around, none that we both love and none that we are totally set on. The bigger problem we are running into is that our little girl has no room. Jessi was completely willing and really wanted to move into the basement when Marcus started to make me a craft room/office down there. Then somebody convinced her moving to a different level of the house where her dad isn't, isn't a smart idea. So now she doesn't want to move down there. Once we have the whole basement finished and she sees how cool it is, I'm sure she'll change her mind. So the baby's first outfit the girls picked out is hanging up in my closet since there is no where to put her stuff yet. I know we have plenty of time to worry about everything, but I also know that she will be here before we know it. I like to have things planned out and organized in advance. It is hard for me to just have to sit back and wait it out. Oh well, I will do what I can and just hope everything beyond my control works out.

Life Can Change in a Second

Today our lives possibly changed forever. I know the Lord doesn't give us more then we can handle, but He is definitely pushing my limits. My OB/GYN's office called this morning and said that some blood work I had done at my last visit came back abnormal. The blood test tested for possible defects, among other things. My results were lower than what they should be for how far along the doctor thinks I am. The nurse said that this increases my chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome. We go in for our big ultrasound in three weeks. At this time, they want us to meet with a Genetic Counselor. The nurse tried to reassure me that the results didn't really mean anything, but by this point it didn't matter what she said. My world had stopped and turned upside down.
After everything we have been through to actually get pregnant and then as hard as this pregnancy has been, how much more can I take before I reach my breaking point? Three weeks of not knowing anything; expecting the worse, hoping for the best. It could possibly be longer than three weeks. If the ultrasound doesn't rule anything out, the only thing that will give us a definite answer is doing an amniocentesis. I have never been a big believer in this test. It can cause a miscarriage, it sounds horrible, and it doesn't change anything about the outcome of the baby. But now that I could possibly be in the situation where knowing the results can affect the rest of my life, I don't know what to think or believe. Of course, no matter what happens, this baby will be loved and wanted. The thought of terminating the pregnancy has never and will never cross our minds. We may face more challenges then originally expected, but if the Lord thinks we can handle it, then we can handle it.
I think the hardest part for me is I have imagined the life this baby will lead, all the things they will do and accomplish. Now I don't know if that will be possible. I have done a lot of reading today on the different tests, on Down Syndrome, on so much stuff I never had given a second thought about. I have learned so much in the last twelve hours. The hardest part is the waiting. I am making myself sick and all I can do is lay on the couch. I feel entitled to sit around (at least for today) and feel sorry for myself and mope around. I know that can't be what I do forever, but today I don't feel guilty.