Friday, July 20, 2007

We Are All Adults. When Did That Happen?!

Growing up I thought that being an adult was the coolest thing. I was envious of all the older people I knew from church and school. Watching my mom pay bills, run errands, grocery shop and take care of the kids was something I looked forward to doing some day. All I ever wanted to do was stay home when I had children of my own and be the perfect mom, homemaker and wife. I am having one of those days where I feel like I am failing miserably at all the above. All the running around, errands, phone calls, cleaning, etc that comes with being a mom, homemaker and wife are taking their toll on me. Not to mention I am running one business and helping run another on top of everything else. I am feeling way overwhelmed and I am afraid the slightest thing is going to put me over the edge. I feel like I am on a carousel: I'm moving but not going anywhere. If I knew that being a grownup was this hard, I would have taken my time getting to be one. Don't get me wrong, I love my little ones more than life its self. I just feel bad that all I seem to worry about and think about is business. If I had the kind of job that I could quit, I would have done so along time ago. Since I am all ready an adult, who's job is it to teach me how to communicate with others, stand up for myself, and deal with things when they don't go as planned? I thought being an adult meant it didn't matter what others thought of you and you had control over your own life. Boy, was I wrong! I have been wondering lately if writing a blog is something I want to keep doing. The people who read it, I usually talk to on a regular basis, so they usually aren't reading anything they didn't all ready know. I don't have any hidden insight into the world's problems or any random bits of wisdom that makes you stop and think, "WOW! This woman is amazing!" But I did realize that writing down certain things helps me feel better. This blog is more of an online journal for my benefit. We'll see how long I keep doing's much cheaper than a therapist.

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